could i have help please

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Mike,

Whether you leave well alone or not, "Mike" is un-concerned, being a fiction - yes? :)

Let me know if there is any stickiness with respect to being free of the apparent fact of "being Mike".
Is this in the bones? Is there any subtle holding on to "being Mike" - if so, it will drop when ready.

What comes up?

/john

[mike-b]

Hi John,

Whether you leave well alone or not, "Mike" is un-concerned, being a fiction - yes? :)

Let me know if there is any stickiness with respect to being free of the apparent fact of "being Mike".
Is this in the bones? Is there any subtle holding on to "being Mike" - if so, it will drop when ready.

What comes up?

Yes, Mike is a fiction and the more i reflect on this the more i acknowledge it.
Obviously, 'Mike' has been with me for a long time and he sometimes shows up when i am in company, but this is getting less frequent, in fact very seldom now.
I am becoming more comfortable in my 'happy place' i no longer question whether i am a watcher, witness or whatever, i just rest there without engaging my mind, noticing 'life' flow past as if watching a film.
The feeling of moving closer towards something is still with me and still growing, but that too is a very nice experience, so all is good at the moment.

Mike

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Mike,

That's so lovely to hear. :)

Now, I just need to check in with you on this MY "happy place" - now, this isn't the word police LOL - but words can often reveal unconscious aspects. Just check out this being aware "place" and notice the sense of this being mine. Just watch that sense of mine (we're not pushing anything away here!) - and see if you have been sucked in to seeing that there is a someone for whom this "place" is theirs.

Just have a good honest little check. See what's happening there.

With kind thanks,
John

[mike-b]

Hi John,

Now, I just need to check in with you on this MY "happy place" - now, this isn't the word police LOL - but words can often reveal unconscious aspects. Just check out this being aware "place" and notice the sense of this being mine. Just watch that sense of mine (we're not pushing anything away here!) - and see if you have been sucked in to seeing that there is a someone for whom this "place" is theirs.

Just have a good honest little check. See what's happening there.

I've had a good look and the 'being aware' has been replaced with 'nothing' there was a slight difference in the experience at first, as the attention to awareness was something to attach my concentration to.
I don't think of it as mine, it is just there, i just relax into it and 'experience'

I have to admit that i found it hard initially to drop 'Mike' but it wasn't the letting go, it was the concept that i found confusing, once i understood what it entailed i found it very easy, i honestly believe that he was on the way out anyway :) Mike is no longer here, or only in speech, 'My happy place' 'I like this' etc

Mike

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Mike,

There certainly seems to be a relaxation. :)

Could you say more about the concept you had found confusing - how would you describe that concept, and how would you understand it now.

With best wishes,
John

[mike-b]

Hi John,

Could you say more about the concept you had found confusing - how would you describe that concept, and how would you understand it now.

Initially, i wasn't sure which part of my character, or to be more precise, my behaviour was due to the influence of 'Mike', i thought it was a matter of ridding myself of 'ego' and the identity that i had given myself, and been given by others over the years, i thought that the 'self' was just character traits that made up my personality.

What i didn't account for was the fact that in ridding myself of my 'self concept' i would also get this feeling of not being a stand alone individual, i am beginning to feel a part of something much greater as i view my conciousness passing before me, i know this post is full of cliche's, but this is how i feel, like i am looking out from inside.

I hope some of that makes sense,

Mike

[s-p-a-c-e]

What i didn't account for was the fact that in ridding myself of my 'self concept' i would also get this feeling of not being a stand alone individual, i am beginning to feel a part of something much greater as i view my conciousness passing before me, i know this post is full of cliche's, but this is how i feel, like i am looking out from inside.

Thanks Mike - appreciate it.

Ok, lets explore this a little. That sense of looking out from inside. In the same rigorous way, you saw thru the concepts like "awareness" and "mine", sit in that place and set aside the concepts "inside"/"outside".

You can try to find an edge to looking where inside might end, and outside would begin.

See what happens once these concepts - inside/outside are dropped.

Best wishes!
John

[mike-b]

Hi John,

Ok, lets explore this a little. That sense of looking out from inside. In the same rigorous way, you saw thru the concepts like "awareness" and "mine", sit in that place and set aside the concepts "inside"/"outside".

You can try to find an edge to looking where inside might end, and outside would begin.

Thank you for pointing that out John,i have done as you suggest, and dropped the looking out feeling, and have gone back to 'nothing' and found no problem with it, i will carry on with this and explore it more deeply

Mike

[s-p-a-c-e]

Thanks Mike - appreciated. Share what you discover.

/John

[s-p-a-c-e]

hi Mike, just checking in. How's things? /john

[mike-b]

Hi John,

Everything is fine, still using my waking hours as my meditation, just sometimes feel things are moving a little slowly, probably expecting the 'bells and whistles' but i will stay on course, i'm sure there's an epiphany just around the corner with my name on it :)

Mike

[s-p-a-c-e]

Hi Mike,

Lovely to hear from you. Thought you may have disappeared in a puff of rigpa. :)

Did you sort the inside/outside thing?

/John

[mike-b]

Hi John,

Lovely to hear from you. Thought you may have disappeared in a puff of rigpa. :)

Hahaha if only!

Did you sort the inside/outside thing?

I did, it wasn't hard, just a slight shift in perspective, probably just at a low point in my practice at the minute

Mike

[s-p-a-c-e]

Mike,

I need you to guide me here. As you know, this forum is all about seeing that the constructed self known as 'Mike" (in this case) is pure fiction, having no real existence; and that you are not this 'Mike' character. Firstly, do you see this 100%? Secondly, who is the one searching for rigpa?

Thank you,
John

[mike-b]

Hi John,

I need you to guide me here. As you know, this forum is all about seeing that the constructed self known as 'Mike" (in this case) is pure fiction, having no real existence; and that you are not this 'Mike' character. Firstly, do you see this 100%? Secondly, who is the one searching for rigpa?

I do see Mike as pure fiction (100%) and although this thought isn't with me at all times, when i think about it 'Mike' is no longer here, and i like to think i have adapted my behaviour to reflect this.

As for the other question, regarding who is searching for rigpa, this is what has eluded me. I think the person doing the looking is 'me' but without the constructed identity, but i will probably ask myself this question for a long time.

Mike