Finally Breaking Through

[BobUnleashed]

Good morning Sarah!

Haha! – OK. Too many philosophy/epistemology classes in college…at least that’s my story anyway : )

And how did that work out for you? All that knowledge that is? :)

Well, it certainly made my head bigger !! : )

I am feeling somewhat separate with the whole eating/tasting happening.

Try it with eyes shut – but please be careful of forks!
Close your eyes and relax for a minute.
Then examine the body from inside.
Can you know, without memory and concepts, how big this body is?

No. When the eyes are closed the body seems undefineable – there are sensations yes, but no size. Size is a thought.

How far away the head is from toes?

As soon as I think head and toes I can imagine a distance with my thoughts. But that is just a thought. I can feel sensation in the area that my thought says is my head, and I can feel sensation in the area that my thoughts say are my toes, but there is no way to measure distance.

Is there a line, that separates inside from outside? Here from there?

No, there is no real line. I feel a sensation on the area that I call my skin, and then thought comes in and says that is the skin – that is where you end and the world begins. But that is a thought. That is a concept. The sensation actually says no such thing. The sensation just is. Thought adds concepts to the sensations that aren’t actually attached to the sensation.

Scan the body for tensions and look at them closer, what is happening? What are these sensations?

I feel tension in the back of my neck. Attention focuses on it. Thought comes in and labels the tension tightness. I breath into the sensation. I experience it fully. It doesn’t feel so bad anymore. Somehow when I breath into it and just watch the thought go by and say “thought” the tightness seems less uncomfortable.

What are these sensations happening to? Is there awareness of hand if focus goes on a foot?
Play with this and write what you notice.
Notice this, where focus goes, labelling, narrating story follows. Mind is describing what is being experienced after it has been experienced.

I consider the tightness in the neck. I watch it. I experience it fully. I relax into it. Thought says neck. Thought says tightness. Thought says – adjust the neck to make it feel better. Thought analyzes whether the sensation is occurring inside or on the surface of the skins. Thought suggests remedies. The sensations are just happening. The sensations are occurring. Thought is telling a good story.

Now do the same exercise with eyes open. What is different? Is there a line between inside and outside? What is that separates here from there? Is there an edge to experience?

Now the eyes are open. With the eyes open the thoughts are saying different things. The sensations are the same. Thought is commenting on other things, including labeling the sights. The sensations are still there but they are a little more difficult, take more concentration to focus on. This is thought analyzing and telling a story about concentration. The eyes can see the body, and thought says there is where the body ends and where the chair begins. The thoughts start telling a story about what is seen and the sensations that are felt.

Next time when you talk to someone try this:
There is a sound (voice of the other) and a sight that is labelled as the 'other body'. But, is there any link between the sound and the sight, meaning that the sound is coming from that sight (the other) or only thoughts and mental constructs link them?

OMG. That is kind of crazy.

I just did this with my wife. The thoughts say “She is talking”. “She is asking a question about how to work the computer.” “Her voice sounds nice.” “She is doing a great job on that project for our son.” Her mouth is moving. I see the movement. Sounds are happening. Thought fills in the rest – those sounds are her voice, her mouth is speaking the words, she is talking to me, I am hearing her, we are talking together. She, me, we – all thoughts of separation, but the sound is just happening.

-Bob

[Sarah7]

Well, it certainly made my head bigger !! : )

Lol Bob! That gave me a right laugh! :)

Wonderful noticing’s again here Bob! Do you feel the illusion of self has been revealed? If so what remains?

Lets have a checking up session! As always, in direct experience:

Have you been able to find, a ‘self’ that is the ‘experiencer’?
Or a self that is the doer, or can control what happens?
Or a self that ‘makes’ decisions?
Or a self who ‘does the thinking’?
Is the "body" just another thought label for sensations (namely tactile & kinesthetic)?
Are the five body senses made to arise or experienced by this ‘self’?
Is there a self ‘in here’ which is separate from the world and others ‘out there’?
Is seeking still happening?
Is there doubt or unclarity that in all these cases the ‘self’ is nothing other than a mental fabrication? Anything else you want to look at? Anything you feel unsure of?
Hugs Sarah xxx

[BobUnleashed]

Good Morning Sarah!

Wonderful noticing’s again here Bob! Do you feel the illusion of self has been revealed? If so what remains?

I think it is largely revealed. But it is like I am forgetful or something. I feel identification in some circumstances, but when I inspect it, I see immediately that identification = thought, and I am not a thought, then it dissipates quickly, and then I am at peace. I realize that I am not the inspector, and I am not doing the inspecting…but that inspecting is what happens.

I think that I would like for this to be more automatic….and then I think who is the “I” that wants for this to be automatic, and then I laugh.

Lets have a checking up session! As always, in direct experience:

Have you been able to find, a ‘self’ that is the ‘experiencer’?

No, I am not able to find the experiencer, but some times I fall into the “habit” of thinking there is an experiencer, and then I realize it is a thought, and then the feeling dissolves.

I experience thoughts, and sensation coming in from the 5 senses and awareness.

Or a self that is the doer, or can control what happens?

Sometimes there is the habit of thinking there is a doer or the controller, but then when I inspect the thought, it falls away.

Or a self that ‘makes’ decisions?

Again, sometimes there is the habit….but it falls away upon inspection, and then I laugh that thought is attempting to inspect itself.

Or a self who ‘does the thinking’?

Same as above.

Is the "body" just another thought label for sensations (namely tactile & kinesthetic)?

Yes.

Are the five body senses made to arise or experienced by this ‘self’?

The sensations from the 5 senses are just happening, but sometimes there is a filter or habit of self, that falls away upon inspection.

Is there a self ‘in here’ which is separate from the world and others ‘out there’?

Yes, I am still defaulting to thinking self in here, others out there.

Is seeking still happening?

Yes. Seeking is still happening. Perhaps I have hidden expectations that I have not inspected – like seeking for unending peace, happiness, and bliss forever, accompanied by the singing of angels? Perhaps I have believed the spiritual salesmanship pitches? I realize these are thoughts. Perhaps this is the last habit to break?

There is a thought that I should be “DOING” something – ie: meditating, seeking, practicing, praying, and then a guilt feeling when I don’t “DO IT” and then I say that is all thought, but perhaps I am not really believing it.

Is there doubt or unclarity that in all these cases the ‘self’ is nothing other than a mental fabrication?

I still think there is some self lingering around the seeking, and expectations, and in some habits.

Anything else you want to look at? Anything you feel unsure of?

Can you help me look at the “seeking” and the “expectations”. These thoughts seem to be a little bit stickier than the others.

....not trying to be difficult, just being totally honest.

Bob

[Sarah7]

Hey Bob!

I think it is largely revealed. But it is like I am forgetful or something. I feel identification in some circumstances, but when I inspect it, I see immediately that identification = thought, and I am not a thought, then it dissipates quickly, and then I am at peace. I realize that I am not the inspector, and I am not doing the inspecting…but that inspecting is what happens.

What is missing? Have a good look and make a list. What are you waiting for? What are you hoping for? What are you looking for really? What do you WANT? What you do not want?
Make a list and bring up all that may be hiding in the shadows of hope. Dig and leave no stone unturned!

I think that I would like for this to be more automatic….and then I think who is the “I” that wants for this to be automatic, and then I laugh.

Who or what wants this? LOL!

Sometimes there is the habit of thinking there is a doer or the controller, but then when I inspect the thought, it falls away.

Habit is a good place to look – there are lots to look at! However nothing else needs to happen – but notice them. Do you write Bob? This is not a suggestion, but I did personally find it useful to spot things. And of course laughing is good too when stuff is seen!

Yes, I am still defaulting to thinking self in here, others out there.

You have the seeing exercise – take it with you and go sit on a street somewhere and people watch! What are others in direct experience? Maybe take a note book with you to write down what you spot! Others in comparison to what? Don’t think – LOOK! Can you find a self in other human bodies? How do you KNOW it’s there?

There is a thought that I should be “DOING” something – ie: meditating, seeking, practicing, praying, and then a guilt feeling when I don’t “DO IT” and then I say that is all thought, but perhaps I am not really believing it.

Can you sit with this ‘doing’ feeling? Can you simply ‘be’ with it? What do you notice what its made up of? Really break this up and have a close look.

Can you help me look at the “seeking” and the “expectations”. These thoughts seem to be a little bit stickier than the others.....not trying to be difficult, just being totally honest.

Of course – Im here till you are sure. :)
Hugs Sarah xxx

[BobUnleashed]

I think it is largely revealed. But it is like I am forgetful or something. I feel identification in some circumstances, but when I inspect it, I see immediately that identification = thought, and I am not a thought, then it dissipates quickly, and then I am at peace. I realize that I am not the inspector, and I am not doing the inspecting…but that inspecting is what happens.

What is missing? Have a good look and make a list. What are you waiting for? What are you hoping for? What are you looking for really? What do you WANT? What you do not want?
Make a list and bring up all that may be hiding in the shadows of hope. Dig and leave no stone unturned!

Ok…I made a list. I very much want to see clearly that there is no self. I wrote this and a list of about 20 things – included things like peace, positive emotions, and positive relationships. All stuff that the false "I" wants.

Here is an example of something that happened today:

Today I was told by the owner of my company that he wanted me to fire somebody that works for me, and I disagree. I think it’s political and I was mad. It really sucked. I lost the debate and will probably have to fire the guy. He has a wife and 2 kids. There was a deep feeling bad for the guy, and also thinking that I didn’t defend him well enough, and feeling like I failed, mixed with feelings of anger. I was very much identifying with the negative feelings and wishing I had done better. After about 3 hours the negative feelings largely subsided. I was inspecting the thoughts and the feelings and watching them, and feeling them, and experiencing them, and asking where is the "I" who is angry and all that stuff....and I just wish the negative emotions would go away sooner, and then I ask Who is there to even wish?....but the emotions remain...I guess I just have to ride it out.

In a separate situation my wife and I got into an argument....and I was unusually angry - was a really tough day. I am wondering if all of this looking is stirring some things up and causing my ego to fight back.

Perhaps I am having the unrealistic expectation that in order to see no self I must be totally peaceful with no negative emotions, and since I got so angry about the firing thing and with my wife, I must be nowhere close. I realize this is a thought, but I don’t know what to do about it. I can inspect the thought, I ask myself who is expecting to be peaceful?

I think that I would like for this to be more automatic….and then I think who is the “I” that wants for this to be automatic, and then I laugh.

Who or what wants this? LOL!

I guess my thoughts want it, but how can thoughts want?

Sometimes there is the habit of thinking there is a doer or the controller, but then when I inspect the thought, it falls away.

Habit is a good place to look – there are lots to look at! However nothing else needs to happen – but notice them. Do you write Bob? This is not a suggestion, but I did personally find it useful to spot things. And of course laughing is good too when stuff is seen!

Yes I write a lot. I will write about habits and see what shows up.

Yes, I am still defaulting to thinking self in here, others out there.

You have the seeing exercise – take it with you and go sit on a street somewhere and people watch! What are others in direct experience? Maybe take a note book with you to write down what you spot! Others in comparison to what? Don’t think – LOOK! Can you find a self in other human bodies? How do you KNOW it’s there?

Ok – I will do this. I didn’t have a chance to do this today….but I will tomorrow.

There is a thought that I should be “DOING” something – ie: meditating, seeking, practicing, praying, and then a guilt feeling when I don’t “DO IT” and then I say that is all thought, but perhaps I am not really believing it.

Can you sit with this ‘doing’ feeling? Can you simply ‘be’ with it? What do you notice what its made up of? Really break this up and have a close look.

Yes. I did this today. I can be with it, and watch it. It is made up of a sensation in the stomach, almost like a slight upset stomach. An increase in heart rate. And thoughts about a sense of urgency, of doing, of taking the initiative, of making something happen. These were all thoughts, mixed in with the bodily sensations.

-Bob

[BobUnleashed]

Ok - Sarah - one other thing. I just woke up here...it's past 2:00 am.

This has been happening alot lately, but tonight I did something different and am writing about it.

I woke up with all of the emotions and thoughts of the day just rushing back like a tidal wave. Now then, I am not sure what came first, the emotions, or the bodily sensations....or the thoughts and the emotions.

I almost think I saw the bodily sensations come first - contraction, tension, tightness in the chest and stomach, increased breathing, increased heart rate, warmth, and then the mind jumps in, thoughts from the day, - anger at wife, anger at the boss, overall anxiety. Overall crap. Then I just looked at it all. I breathed into the sensations and looked at each one and inspected them one by one - the contractions, the breathing, the warmth, the tension, all of the various nuances of emotion, the thoughts and memories about the conversations. It is all just stuff. I just sat with all of it and watched it. First passionately, and very attached to the situation, then gradually dispassionately, and with great detachment, watching each little piece, each individual sensation, each individual emotion, each individual thought and seeing how they were all just happening, all of that stuff, but I wasn't making it happen....it literally was all just going on. Awareness was moving around looking at it all. I didn't choose any of this shit! None of it! It was just happening! A bodily show, an emotional show, a thought show.

In a strange way that made me feel good. And I cried.

-Bob

[Sarah7]

Hey Bob
Are you OK?

In a separate situation my wife and I got into an argument....and I was unusually angry - was a really tough day. I am wondering if all of this looking is stirring some things up and causing my ego to fight back.

It happens – its like any other movement. Is thought writing a story around it?

Perhaps I am having the unrealistic expectation that in order to see no self I must be totally peaceful with no negative emotions, and since I got so angry about the firing thing and with my wife, I must be nowhere close. I realize this is a thought, but I don’t know what to do about it. I can inspect the thought, I ask myself who is expecting to be peaceful?

So you don’t want to feel strong emotions? Or you think you should be peaceful? Can you be specific?
Are these both thoughts? Did you bring the anger? Was that which notices angry? Did you find who was feeling these emotions? How do you own them? How are they yours? Who was upset? Or did upset just show up along with anger?

I guess my thoughts want it, but how can thoughts want?

Ah well. Do they really? Or is that thought interpreting? Have a look. Is that feeling/sensation actually ‘want’?

Am repeating this seeing you didn’t have time. However in order for you see others – you are comparing it to something else – e.g. if there is a ‘you’ then there is something ‘not you’. Do you see? So keep looking for ‘you’ too!
Others: You have the seeing exercise – take it with you and go sit on a street somewhere and people watch! What are others in direct experience? Maybe take a note book with you to write down what you spot! Others in comparison to what? Don’t think – LOOK! Can you find a self in other human bodies? How do you KNOW it’s there?

Yes. I did this today. I can be with it, and watch it. It is made up of a sensation in the stomach, almost like a slight upset stomach. An increase in heart rate. And thoughts about a sense of urgency, of doing, of taking the initiative, of making something happen. These were all thoughts, mixed in with the bodily sensations.

And then what happens?

but I wasn't making it happen....it literally was all just going on. Awareness was moving around looking at it all. I didn't choose any of this shit! None of it! It was just happening! A bodily show, an emotional show, a thought show. In a strange way that made me feel good. And I cried.

Lovely noticing’s Bob. Was it happening to ‘you’? Was it personal?
Big hugs Sarah xxxx

[BobUnleashed]

Hi Sarah!

Are you OK?

Yes.

In a separate situation my wife and I got into an argument....and I was unusually angry - was a really tough day. I am wondering if all of this looking is stirring some things up and causing my ego to fight back.

It happens – its like any other movement. Is thought writing a story around it?

Yes, it was writing a long extensive story. I guess that it is a habit of “I”, of “Identification”. When I really looked at it I laughed and realize that it was just a bunch of thoughts in my head.

Perhaps I am having the unrealistic expectation that in order to see no self I must be totally peaceful with no negative emotions, and since I got so angry about the firing thing and with my wife, I must be nowhere close. I realize this is a thought, but I don’t know what to do about it. I can inspect the thought, I ask myself who is expecting to be peaceful?

So you don’t want to feel strong emotions? Or you think you should be peaceful? Can you be specific?

I don’t mind feeling strong emotions if they are good emotions – lol! But when they are unpleasant, like anger then I don’t like it that much.

Yes, I think I should be peaceful. I think I should be “strong enough” – to not feel anger – like all of the “spiritual” people…not to mention that anger is not fun… I guess that is yet another story spun by thought….seems much clearer that these are thoughts a day later.

Last night when I woke up in the middle of the night and started feeling negative emotions, and just sat with them, and fully experienced them, and just kind of breathed into them while looking at them they seemed to dissipate much sooner, and have much less stickiness. Last night it very much just looked like a storm passing by, and I was not attached to it as much. I would like for this to be my new habit.

Are these both thoughts?

Yes

Did you bring the anger?

No. I saw very clearly (in the middle of the night) that I did not bring it. It just arose, like a storm, and then passed by

Was that which notices angry?

No. That which notices just noticed the storm passing by

Did you find who was feeling these emotions?

During the day when I got angry, I felt identified with the emotions, like they were mine.

In the middle of the night when I woke up, there was no I, and the emotions dissipated quickly. In the middle of the night, that which notices just saw the anger, and saw the thought.

How do you own them? How are they yours? Who was upset? Or did upset just show up along with anger?

I know I don’t own them. It is clearer and clearer that all of this stuff is not me, it is just stuff passing by. Anger was arising, and anger was falling away.

I guess my thoughts want it, but how can thoughts want?

Ah well. Do they really? Or is that thought interpreting? Have a look. Is that feeling/sensation actually ‘want’?

Ok. I looked at this. I saw it clearly. The sensation is more like a feeling in the stomach. And then it either disappears after it is looked at, or then thought will move in and label it as “want”.

I am noticing that my thoughts call a lot of sensations various things, and usually they are sometimes not nice or fun things, but once I just look at the sensation and see it for what it is, both the sensation and the thoughts dissipate.

Am repeating this seeing you didn’t have time. However in order for you see others – you are comparing it to something else – e.g. if there is a ‘you’ then there is something ‘not you’. Do you see? So keep looking for ‘you’ too!
Others: You have the seeing exercise – take it with you and go sit on a street somewhere and people watch! What are others in direct experience? Maybe take a note book with you to write down what you spot!

Ok. I did this quite a bit today. Was in several different stores and with my family. Seeing is happening. Then the narrator jumps in and starts saying stuff like look at that person over there, or commenting, and the commenting assumes separateness. The thought will say something like that person is over there, and you are over here. The seeing of the people itself is not separate, they are all in one field of vision. It is only the thinking that claims separateness.

Others in comparison to what? Don’t think – LOOK! Can you find a self in other human bodies? How do you KNOW it’s there?

The thought will say others (as in other bodies) in comparison to this body (as in my body). But there is not a self there. There are bodies. And there are thoughts commenting on the bodies, and there is that which is watching.

Yes. I did this today. I can be with it, and watch it. It is made up of a sensation in the stomach, almost like a slight upset stomach. An increase in heart rate. And thoughts about a sense of urgency, of doing, of taking the initiative, of making something happen. These were all thoughts, mixed in with the bodily sensations.

And then what happens?

After I look at it, it goes away. It dissipates. It doesn’t hang around for very long once it is looked at. Once I see that it is just sensation + thought, then it goes away.

but I wasn't making it happen....it literally was all just going on. Awareness was moving around looking at it all. I didn't choose any of this shit! None of it! It was just happening! A bodily show, an emotional show, a thought show. In a strange way that made me feel good. And I cried.

Lovely noticing’s Bob. Was it happening to ‘you’? Was it personal?

No, the crying just happened. I thought, wow, that wasn’t what I thought it was, and that of course, was just another thought.

-Bob

[Sarah7]

Hi Bob
Again – some lovely noticing’s here.

Yes, it was writing a long extensive story. I guess that it is a habit of “I”, of “Identification”. When I really looked at it I laughed and realize that it was just a bunch of thoughts in my head.

Could you see the habit of ownership of it too?

Yes, I think I should be peaceful. I think I should be “strong enough” – to not feel anger – like all of the “spiritual” people…not to mention that anger is not fun… I guess that is yet another story spun by thought….seems much clearer that these are thoughts a day later.

No guessing – look. Are these thoughts wanting something other than what is? Who is there to do this? Where is this strong person?
Preferences happen – but do you chose to like or not like?
What needs to be seen IS being seen – does it matter whether it’s a day later? To who or what?

Last night when I woke up in the middle of the night and started feeling negative emotions, and just sat with them, and fully experienced them, and just kind of breathed into them while looking at them they seemed to dissipate much sooner, and have much less stickiness. Last night it very much just looked like a storm passing by, and I was not attached to it as much. I would like for this to be my new habit.

Can you see a thought too that this is a good way to get rid of what is not liked – e.g. the angry ones!

During the day when I got angry, I felt identified with the emotions, like they were mine.

So if it happens again – see if noticing happens too.

I know I don’t own them. It is clearer and clearer that all of this stuff is not me, it is just stuff passing by. Anger was arising, and anger was falling away.

And what about so called positive emotions – are they any more yours?

Ok. I did this quite a bit today.

And did you notice the ‘you’ looking at ‘them’?

The thought will say others (as in other bodies) in comparison to this body (as in my body). But there is not a self there. There are bodies. And there are thoughts commenting on the bodies, and there is that which is watching.

And that which notices – is there any separation between you and it, you and them and them and it? Or is it all one experience?
Hugs Sarah xxx

[BobUnleashed]

Good morning Sarah,

Yes, it was writing a long extensive story. I guess that it is a habit of “I”, of “Identification”. When I really looked at it I laughed and realize that it was just a bunch of thoughts in my head.

Could you see the habit of ownership of it too?

I didn’t at the time, but I can see it now that you mention it.

Yes, I think I should be peaceful. I think I should be “strong enough” – to not feel anger – like all of the “spiritual” people…not to mention that anger is not fun… I guess that is yet another story spun by thought….seems much clearer that these are thoughts a day later.

No guessing – look. Are these thoughts wanting something other than what is? Who is there to do this? Where is this strong person?

The thought is saying that “I should be able to stay balanced no matter what, to not be angry, no matter what is going on around me.” But really I don’t have a choice. It’s not like I chose the anger. If I could I would choose the peace. There is no one there to choose anything. Thoughts are coming up – arising. Sensations are arising. There is no strong person, or any person to choose one way or the other.

Preferences happen – but do you chose to like or not like?
What needs to be seen IS being seen – does it matter whether it’s a day later? To who or what?

No, I don’t choose to like it or not. I don’t have a choice. The sensation or the emotion just arises regardless of what my preference is.
No – it doesn’t matter whether it’s a day later, that’s just another thought arising.

Last night when I woke up in the middle of the night and started feeling negative emotions, and just sat with them, and fully experienced them, and just kind of breathed into them while looking at them they seemed to dissipate much sooner, and have much less stickiness. Last night it very much just looked like a storm passing by, and I was not attached to it as much. I would like for this to be my new habit.

Can you see a thought too that this is a good way to get rid of what is not liked – e.g. the angry ones!

LOL – yeah. That is a good thought, to get rid of what is not liked! LOL.

During the day when I got angry, I felt identified with the emotions, like they were mine.

So if it happens again – see if noticing happens too.

OK – I will look the next time it happens. Did not happen today - was a great day of fun and mostly positive emotion

I know I don’t own them. It is clearer and clearer that all of this stuff is not me, it is just stuff passing by. Anger was arising, and anger was falling away.

And what about so called positive emotions – are they any more yours?

I was thinking about them as well and I had a thought that you would ask that question!! I certainly “like” the positive emotions a lot more…but no, they are not anymore mine.

Ok. I did this quite a bit today.

And did you notice the ‘you’ looking at ‘them’?

Haha – No looking was just happening!

The thought will say others (as in other bodies) in comparison to this body (as in my body). But there is not a self there. There are bodies. And there are thoughts commenting on the bodies, and there is that which is watching.

And that which notices – is there any separation between you and it, you and them and them and it? Or is it all one experience?

You (me) and it – no separation
You(me) and them – still the habit of separation, although there were some times today that I thought it was all more unified
Them and it – no separation
I will be around a lot of other people tomorrow and will look hard.
-Bob

[Sarah7]

Hey Bob!

The thought is saying that “I should be able to stay balanced no matter what, to not be angry, no matter what is going on around me.” But really I don’t have a choice. It’s not like I chose the anger. If I could I would choose the peace. There is no one there to choose anything.

And what power does thought have Bob? What can a thought do?

Thoughts are coming up – arising. Sensations are arising. There is no strong person, or any person to choose one way or the other.

And emotions are arising? All different songs on the radio? Does anything stay? Is it all in flux? Do you do any of it? Do you own any of it?

OK – I will look the next time it happens. Did not happen today - was a great day of fun and mostly positive emotion

And did you find yourself identified with them? Who or what if anything, is saddened by positive, nice and fun emotions going?

You (me) and it – no separation. You(me) and them – still the habit of separation, although there were some times today that I thought it was all more unified. Them and it – no separation. I will be around a lot of other people tomorrow and will look hard.

OK – will leave you with this! Is there any separation between you and that which notices, you and them and them and it? Or is it all one experience? Happy hunting!
Hugs Sarah xxx

[BobUnleashed]

Hi Sarah,

The thought is saying that “I should be able to stay balanced no matter what, to not be angry, no matter what is going on around me.” But really I don’t have a choice. It’s not like I chose the anger. If I could I would choose the peace. There is no one there to choose anything.

And what power does thought have Bob? What can a thought do?

A thought can arise, and then it can disappear.

Thoughts are coming up – arising. Sensations are arising. There is no strong person, or any person to choose one way or the other.

And emotions are arising? All different songs on the radio? Does anything stay? Is it all in flux? Do you do any of it? Do you own any of it?

Yes. And emotions are arising.
They are all different songs.
Nothing stays – neither the stuff I really like, nor the stuff that I don’t like.
It is all in flux.
There is the “thought” that “I” am doing it. There is the “thought” that “I” need to “take responsibility” for it. I need to own it. Then I tell myself that was just a thought. Then I tell myself that too was just a thought.

OK – I will look the next time it happens. Did not happen today - was a great day of fun and mostly positive emotion

And did you find yourself identified with them? Who or what if anything, is saddened by positive, nice and fun emotions going?

No I was not identified with them.

You (me) and it – no separation. You(me) and them – still the habit of separation, although there were some times today that I thought it was all more unified. Them and it – no separation. I will be around a lot of other people tomorrow and will look hard.

OK – will leave you with this! Is there any separation between you and that which notices, you and them and them and it? Or is it all one experience? Happy hunting!

“You (me) and that which notices” – no separation, noticing just happens
“You (me) and them” – same as above, still the habit of separation.
“Them and it (that which notices)” – no separation, noticing just happens
Oddly, when I am “that which notices” there is no separation. Perhaps, I should just be that which notices, and not be “me” and then there would be no separation…..LOL…. My thoughts are starting to get confused now….

-Bob

[Sarah7]

Morning Bob

A thought can arise, and then it can disappear.

Where is its power? What a thought do?

Oddly, when I am “that which notices” there is no separation. Perhaps, I should just be that which notices, and not be “me” and then there would be no separation…..LOL…. My thoughts are starting to get confused now….

How do you separate the mirror from the reflections? Or the wave from the ocean? When are you not that which notices?
Thoughts and confusion! Oh yes! LOL.
Are you done? If not - what is missing?
Hugs Sarah xxx

[BobUnleashed]

Hi Sarah!

A thought can arise, and then it can disappear.

Where is its power? What a thought do?

“Power” is a thought that points to a concept (which is another thought). I wouldn’t say that thought has any power. But a thought can label something that is sensed. It can describe. A lot of times it just rambles, though.

Oddly, when I am “that which notices” there is no separation. Perhaps, I should just be that which notices, and not be “me” and then there would be no separation…..LOL…. My thoughts are starting to get confused now….

How do you separate the mirror from the reflections? Or the wave from the ocean? When are you not that which notices?

Hahahaha! Wow. When are you not that which notices?– NEVER – Ha! That statement flipped a subtle switch (to add a label and figure of speech). I am always noticing. Always have been. Never have not been. This is a very slight shift, to something that has always been here, so it’s not really a shift. It’s always present, so you can’t finally see it, you always have seen it. Ha! It is hard to use words to explain!

How do you separate the mirror from the reflections – you don’t - they are one. Or the wave from the ocean – again - they are one.

I think my perspective just changed.

Thoughts and confusion! Oh yes! LOL.

Hahahaha! Yes! Who cares!

Are you done? If not - what is missing?

[/quote]

There is still an urge to do some spiritual practice, to seek, although it seems less. Getting sleepy though and almost falling asleep as I am writing this –so I am going to look at that seeking part hard again tomorrow.

Thank you Sarah !! This is getting really good now!!

-Bob

[Sarah7]

Mornin Bob!

“Power” is a thought that points to a concept (which is another thought). I wouldn’t say that thought has any power. But a thought can label something that is sensed. It can describe. A lot of times it just rambles, though.

OK – so when re-identification happens – that’s when you look – what did that thought stick too? Who or what was affected by the power of that thought? Who is there that felt that, or is insulted by that or whatever.

Hahahaha! Wow. When are you not that which notices?– NEVER – Ha! That statement flipped a subtle switch (to add a label and figure of speech). I am always noticing. Always have been. Never have not been. This is a very slight shift, to something that has always been here, so it’s not really a shift. It’s always present, so you can’t finally see it, you always have seen it. Ha! It is hard to use words to explain!

Are you done? If not - what is missing?

There is still an urge to do some spiritual practice, to seek, although it seems less.

Investigate this – what is it made up of?
Big hugs Sarah xxx