Postby danl » Mon Jun 22, 2015 2:11 am
Thanks for your understanding. I won't take it personally if you decide to kick to the curb for being a pain in the ass.
I took a look at what 'commitment' is by looking at my commitment to respond in terms of direct experience and at first it was like looking for 'I' - there was nothing seen; nothing I could point at or find, then almost immediately the thought that there has to be something there arose and the mind started labeling commitment. There were ideas that it is "the choice to answer in direct experience", and acting on that choice, etc. Then the question "what does choosing mean?", and my mind started to go down a path of analyzing what is in commitment and what isn't in it.
Then the thought to "stop thinking" happened, which came from memory of reading or hearing somewhere on this site the command - "don't think, look". So the looking started. All that was noticed when looking to see what commitment is, is a feeling of something like pressure. Not a physical pressure, but the sense of need, - that this action must be taken.
Then there was a decision to look to see where the feeling came from, and this is where it is easy for me to get lost in conceptions. When looking for a source of the feeling of pressure, the thought "because I said I would" arises, then quickly starts going to "taking action on the choice" and "if you don't, then you're lying" which automatically has a negative association. There was also the thought of "I want to", which started to lead down a path of thoughts - "I chose to, because I want to see". Finally there was a thought "it doesn't matter", and looking for the source of the feeling stopped.