Give me the best one (hardnut here.)

[iLoveCookies]

Hello, I don't know if my background mean something here but I'm ready too look. I want to be free and happy enjoy life and be free of anxiety of what my happen to my insecure false "I", I understand the idea intellectual but there is no switch in consciousness. I feel like I have potential to be in life the way I want but I cannot find expression as the "I" thinking about being insecure, anxious. I used to realize anatta as I have background buddhist teachings which enriched my experiences and free me from many things but the same time after seeing thru the "I" illusion, second I developed I don't know if there is something creating it all the time but I'm pretty fed up with it, especially with uncomfortable feeling in the chest which make me react with people and simple thing in terms of being upset about small things and affecting my health at the same time, it's like feeling something heavy in the chest which creates conflict between life and people around me, not as one but as person who expect from other to be something else then they are. I want to express freely without being scared about anything and just be free, happy without any external reasons but express that thru external ways. When I had come to the anatta realization and the idea, I have glimpses here and there, laughs without any reason as something heavy was taken off etc. but i was joyful and blissful for 2-3 weeks and it's started growing back like the sickness you are free and again you start at the same place, can you cut it off with me permanently? Because I think it will be harder as I understand that but in experience it's different.

Thank you _()_

[Josephkoudelka]

Hello ILoveCookies. I can help. Please, tell me a bit more about your understanding of anatta. how you came to realize anatta.

Joseph ♥

[iLoveCookies]

Hello ILoveCookies. I can help. Please, tell me a bit more about your understanding of anatta. how you came to realize anatta.

Joseph ♥

The idea stuck into my head firstly when I was introduced to it by various scriptures, but it make no sense for me, firstly I said "this is stupid." but it's somehow stuck in me so I just thinking "there is really no me?" and I was just trying to recognize it and I was in argumentation with myself if I exists how it this so? If not how it this so, and one time some switch happen, I was laughing without reason like maniac and I could see that there is no me clearly, no anger, no anything just happily moving thru life, forgiving everything what I did and what others did to me and all that. It was clear for me that there is no me, but it's seems it's moved back, the experience is still in me or the left overs but the character feats, getting little mad on small things sometimes. I wish to be more loving and compassionate to understand people better but if sometimes one person speak to me I can just unconsciously "braking and biting" in response asking myself why I did that, why I can happily response to simple things and just be happy with everything around me? What's the problem?

I know my feeling determines how I'm in life and with people. It's seems that I moved back to it's place even realizing that there is no "I" on that joyful presence of non-being again something closed this up to another personal history. Getting mad at it is no sense and no point, but if I approach the same as I did before it's not working. I cannot see thru the false "I" again and I do not see any exit really from actual experience to that dimension of no self.

[Josephkoudelka]

I cannot see thru the false "I" again and I do not see any exit really from actual experience to that dimension of no self.

The "I" that cannot see through the false "I" again is also a false "I."

I am still not clear from your description regarding what your understanding of "no self" or anatta is. What you seem to describe is an understanding or realization that you experienced, resulting in a state that brought you peace.

Seeing through the illusion of self, seeing "no self", is not a state. States come and go, as do all phenomena. In classic Theravada, annata is the third leg of the three marks of existence. The other two being anicca(impermanence) and dukkha(imperfection, often translated as suffering). Anything that is experienced is impermanent, it arises and falls away. Our entire life is like this. It will pass away at some point, and along with it, any understanding we might of had.

A clear view of the three marks of existence, leads to dispassion (nibbida). Dispassion then causes the mind to naturally tend to the deathless, and this is called release (vimutti).

What is the deathless? I would be much more interested in that as a seeker. But first we must become clear regarding our present condition, our present situation as it is now.

Here at Liberation Unleashed our purpose is to clearly see that the self we have believed ourselves to be up until now, is a fiction, and cannot be found anywhere outside of a thought claiming that a self exists. And when it comes to impermanence, thoughts are the most impermanent aspect of our experience. How could we be a puny little thought?

I can guide you to a clear recognition of no self. This recognition is independent of any religious foundation. I am not concerned with religion and it's scripture. I am only interested in the truth of what is present in this moment now. Theory knows nothing. Scripture is hearsay.

If you are still interested, and would like me to guide you, please review and acknowledge that you understand the following material -

Please confirm that you read the disclaimer:

http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2/

There are a few guidelines for our dialogue.

Please respond to confirm:

1. You agree to post at least once a day.
2. In general, the guide will ask the questions for you to respond to
3. Responses require your utmost honesty
4. Responses are best from direct experience (felt senses and observed thoughts). Longwinded
analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress.
5. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies and such for the remainder of this investigation.
Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily and
essential meditation practice, it is fine to continue that.
6. Please learn to use the quote function; instructions are located in the link below this line:

http://liberationunleashed.com/nation/v ... ?f=4&t=660


Joseph ♥︎

[iLoveCookies]

Of course let do it. You will know naturally how it's go with me when we will be going into illusion of myself.

[Josephkoudelka]

Do you know a thought or does a thought know you?

[iLoveCookies]

Do you know a thought or does a thought know you?

That's a mind breaking question. I try to base only on direct experience so I see the thoughts appear on the screen but if I approach second part of the questions this also seem to be thoughts related to me.

[Josephkoudelka]

...but if I approach second part of the questions this also seem to be thoughts related to me.

Describe where this "me" begins and ends in direct experience.

[iLoveCookies]

I cannot find anything like "me" but I find that there is something which is watching thru the eyes and it's giving the sense or feeling of me to be there and manifesting as the body, mind, observing the mind and emotions etc.

[Josephkoudelka]

I cannot find anything like "me" but I find that there is something which is watching...

Where does this watching begin and end?

Do you actually experience a boundary or border where there is watching separate from that which is watched?

[iLoveCookies]

That watching seems to not begin or end but just limited to the boundaries of experience of the body, mind, senses etc.

There no boundary in that which is watching and watched things in the sense of no discrimination (no discrimination means it cannot be turned off just like that)

[Josephkoudelka]

That watching seems to not begin or end but just limited to the boundaries of experience of the body, mind, senses etc.

What else do you expect you should be experiencing?

[iLoveCookies]

Freedom and bliss, deathless state which I can see reality the way it is not they way I think it is thru the "I"

[Josephkoudelka]

Freedom and bliss, deathless state which I can see reality the way it is not they way I think it is thru the "I"

This is an expectation, an idea, or thought, about what seeing through the illusion of self will result in. We are not promising exceptional states of mind and body.

We guide to the recognition that a discrete separate self is no where to be found in our direct experience of this moment now.

Please review the link below again and acknowledge that you understand.

http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2/

That said, I encourage you to look directly at your experience now and notice the seamless quality of all perception and experience.

Has there even been a time when you were not here, now, in your direct experience?

[iLoveCookies]

Has there even been a time when you were not here, now, in your direct experience?

No also I see I can only experience myself only.