Looking for a guide thro this process. please help

[goingwithin]

Hi Ilona,

Thank you for getting back to me.

"What is coming up after retreat? Let's talk about this here before I invite you to join the groups on Facebook."

It was a loving kindness Metta retreat and very healing. There are a lot of residual issues that have been a part of my life that hadn’t really been dealt with or clear to me as to what they were. Through or with the help of Metta it became clear to me the source of my suffering. Believing the “stories” that I had told myself and others had felt to be the truth about this character Sharon. Being caught in this belief though knowing it to be a lie, years of conditioning still hung onto some of these concepts. Recently it was a labeling that caused me pain but it was being dealt with only to see that it was just a label that hid the real truth, being attached to the illusion of love. I craved it and was unaware of the damage it was causing me and those around me. It never ceases to amaze me how strong these conditionings are. Many year of learning right?? It will take time to totally “let go” though there is a knowing that it will happen, and is happening even without trying. Can’t say it feels great, it’s possibly the hardest thing to let be. But the knowing that there is no control is ironically what helps. Thoughts still happen, but I’m aware that they are constantly changing so just observing them is entertaining. It’s a funny world we live in !!

If there is anything else you have to ask please go ahead. Trust I’ve answered as honestly and best I can. Again thank you Ilona, Blessings,

In Metta,

Sharon

[Ilona]

dear Sharon, thank you for reply and honesty.
what i would like to share is that seeing through illusion of separatedness is a start of real work. there is a lot of cleaning up to do. and yes, it's not that you are doing it, but stuff comes up to be looked at. all attachments come up, all ideas that you are still holding on show up to be reexamined. and it's a good thing. some of it may be intense and does not feel great. the key turning point for me was learning to say YES to all. and that may feel weird and natural at the beginning, but knowing that stuff comes up to be looked at and released makes hard work into fun. shit comes up, i say- Yey, thank you! something else is ready to be released... yummm...

attachment to love, longing for love is saying to you to love yourself. it is your love for yourself that is missing and that may feel that someone else has to give it to you. but all we feel is the love we feel, or the lack of it. that sensation is here to be looked at. be gentle and kind to yourself. feel the heart. feel the love that is there, no matter which form it takes. listen to what the heart wants and see what is in the way of that now.

don't worry about residual issues, you only need to deal with what is here now one step at a time. when something is ripe to be seen, it will present itself. unlearning takes time! as long as you get how to look, you have the right tools. trusting that all is unfolding as it should can be very helpful.

i don't really have more questions for you.. if you like to explore something here, we can carry on, otherwise i can invite you to the lu aftercare groups.

sending love.

[goingwithin]

Hi Ilona.
Thank you for your words of wisdom they go a long way on this journey. Feeling ready to go through as there are no more questions. Ready to start this work and open to it all. Acceptance compassion and love are strong for me now thank you for all this.

In Metta,
Blessings and love ... Sharon

[goingwithin]

Hi Ilona.
Thank you for your words of wisdom they go a long way on this journey. Feeling ready to go through as there are no more questions. Ready to start this work and open to it all. Acceptance compassion and love are strong for me now thank you for all this.

In Metta,
Blessings and love ... Sharon