1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No, not now and never has been a self, I or me.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The illusion of separate self is that there is an orchestrator inside us some where, that is receiving data and processing it into actions. It starts early in life when we see and feel our own body, and see and feel other peoples bodies. The sense of self is then perpetuated through our language with words like "me" and "I". Personally I have always talked to my"self" as if there were another party present that may affect my actions if I persuaded them the right way. Of course a good look reveals that neither the persuader nor the one being persuaded are present. Both parties are simply thoughts that feed off of each other.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
I will admit I found some of this dialog challenging. I think putting selflessness into words is tough sometimes. I was more uncertain before we started. I was doing more "flip flopping" I had also recognized the absence of a decider before we started, but did not realize the absence of an experiencer until it was pointed out.
Sometimes I have felt relieved, sometimes I have felt like a lot of the big tragedies in my life were just silly. There has been a change in perspective. But life does goes on as usual and feelings still happen.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
I have been making a habit of driving without the radio on lately. Just trying to be clear and aware. At some point while doing this I realized I wasn't deciding to turn the wheel, wasn't deciding to hit the brakes, wasn't deciding to speed up. That was when I started looking. I was led to this site.Then through our work here I realized, with confidence, I wasn't deciding to do anything at all, and that I never had.
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
All of the above are thoughts, nothing more. And all of those words can be condensed into just "descision." This action vs that action. Actions happen one way or the other. No entity can make an action happen a certain way. No one knows what makes things happen or how it works. Things just manifest, and life, including our own, is just a manifestation.
I'm responsible for nothing. Without a doer or a decision maker there can be no responsibility.
6) Anything to add?
Just that this has been a positive experience and I applaud everyone who has contributed to making this site a reality. And sorry to Rolly if I was being difficult at times.
