eyes wide shut? lets open them

[MerlinC]

Open for anyone with courage to look into what's true

[sophie1]

Would you like to be my guide?

[MerlinC]

Yes I would love to guide you but firstly tell me about yourself
what's brought you here and what are you looking for?

[sophie1]

I have just seen your reply after I posted my introduction as a new topic. So I will repeat.
I have experienced non-self state before, however I lost it and would like to experience it again and hopefully be in it longer. I probably have strong attachments of the self that hold me closely connected to it. I read once that people stay in non self state for different length of time, seconds, days, months... I would like to hear about it more from you. The whole subject of non-self state is a bit confusing to me, so I would appreciate some clarification. I would really appreciate if you guide me back to direct experience of my true nature.
Thank you

[MerlinC]

Ok so I will ask you questions to look into and by doing so well undo this confusion alright?
Firstly can you find what's being attached to the self?

[sophie1]

My personal story, my thoughts and emotions. Self is a magnet that holds all those together. With my previous experience of no self, I felt that the magnet lost its power and my thoughts, emotions and story became not attached to the concept "me". Now I feel the attachment is back and strong. I have hard time thinking: "those are just thoughts, just emotions and just a story" without being involved in them

[MerlinC]

you said your (Self) holds all the thoughts and emotion but wouldn't yourself be thoughts also?

[MerlinC]

You may have had a very real glimpse of being completely present
and feel as if you lost it because thinking is happening only thinking also happens in the present
you're always present even when you think you're not
always aware of your thoughts and emotions
the initial epiphany of this can be amazing and its a great start but this really becomes about remembering to be aware of your here and now untill it sticks

[MerlinC]

The goal of the questioning is not to get back an experience but to go into present experience because what you're looking for can be nowhere else.

[sophie1]

you said your (Self) holds all the thoughts and emotion but wouldn't yourself be thoughts also?

I compared being aware of self to being aware of no self. When I was aware that I am no self, my thoughts were non intrusive in the sense that they couldn't take over me. They were much quieter. I would still feel them as a left over of "me".

this really becomes about remembering to be aware of your here and now untill it sticks

It probably needs a lot of practice and determination because thoughts consistently take me out of the present moment.
With my previous experience it happened with no effort as a part of Kundalini awakening.

So the goal of the questioning is to connect me to the experience of present moment as an observer?

[MerlinC]

The goal is to see that there is no separate self, regardless of any states.
having beliefs in the person makes it real for you so we must look into what's true in this present moment.
I promise you don't need another Kundalini awakening to realize this, it only takes looking in oneself for the truth.
can you find a Me?

[MerlinC]

Once you realize that their is no separation between thought and life you won't have to do anything but at first it will seem like you got it and then lose it.

[sophie1]

we must look into what's true in this present moment

If I am completely present with my thoughts almost non existent, "me" disappears. Just experience exists. "Me" appears with the thinking.

there is no separation between thought and life

Do you mean that there is no separation between an idea or concept of the thing and the thing itself?
But we do have a concept or thought of "Self" but no self in reality. We have concepts of things that don't really exist.

Are people who realized that there is no self aware of it all the time? In all situations? Or some situations recreate the illusion of self?

[MerlinC]

ok so you can see that the "ME" appears as thought and when thoughts are gone the person is gone agreed?
whose aware of thoughts when you're gone?

I mean there's no real separation from the experiencer from the experience and thoughts are apart of experience even when they label stuff.
like santa claus, the "me" is a fiction made of stories and imagination
life happens in only one place and thats in the now
The realized are fully aware of this even when thoughts say different

[MerlinC]

This Is a good film to watch but I would like you to see the first three minutes of this man talk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KopmSpe33Eg