Who is writing this thing?

[Nameless1995]

No, just simply this experience. Normally one could say: I am the center of this experience. I feel my body as a certain buzzing sensation, I see cars, trees and hear birds singing... Etc... This is a description of this when seen through the filter of "I" as subject vs objects... What do you see?


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I am the whole experience.
The experience cant be put to word. Impossible for me.
As soon as I put it to words it will be far distanced from what is actually is.
There are things, this computer, this screen, a chemistry between between two legs, all going on, all under fire, all in flux. But all of them are concepts. What are actually those. It can't be said. All of it is beyond words and comprehension. There is whatever there is. I can say nothing more precise than nothing.

[Alexw]

Can you try and split it up, just like thought does when it is splitting THIS into seeing, hearing, smelling, thinking...? What is DE of sound or thought?


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[Alexw]

...correction as not precise enough: thought is not doing any splitting... It just seems so... Thought cant do anything, right?


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[Nameless1995]

Can you try and split it up, just like thought does when it is splitting THIS into seeing, hearing, smelling, thinking...? What is DE of sound or thought?


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DE of sound is DE of sound.
Explain red. What is the DE of red?
Don't post a picture of red or something, tell me what is red.
Impossible isnt it?
You are asking me to explain things which are qualia.

Yes thoughts don't split or join, it all happens in conceptual world.

[Nameless1995]

It can be conceptualized and categorized. Different senses can be named different names.
Sound and taste seems to be different types of senses, so though it is all just constituents of one experience,
it can be classified and categorized.

[Alexw]

Yes, its all just layers of concepts. One experience, but we act like there is an objective world. Life (as we know it) is non dual but appears dual. That is how it is perceived. Are you saying you perceive life/this in a non dual way?


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[Nameless1995]

Yes, its all just layers of concepts. One experience, but we act like there is an objective world. Life (as we know it) is non dual but appears dual. That is how it is perceived. Are you saying you perceive life/this in a non dual way?


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I don't know, I just can't put any words about experience if I try to be honest.
May be it is somewhat non-dual, but even that is a concept....
I don't remember much about before, so I can't contrast with any states, I can't compare it say that was dual and this is non-dual,
by non-dual, it is not like saying oh look that lizard is me, this is me, all is me, it is not even like there is no me at all,
it is a bit of mixture, if you want to know about my mental state: then I will say there is some deep voidness not vastness but a deepness of voidness and silence, and all stuffs just influence the surface.....
there is not a strong sense of self anymore, or may be non at all, yet there is no sense of no-self either,
it.it...I don't know, as soon as I try to put in words, I start to make stories, not I, the mind, whenever asked for explanation it always go for story, start twisting perception and all, but the mind is ashamed now (not literally, I said that in a metaphorical way) it reminds itself that it is making a story, and stops,
all that has been written in this post are just mind junks.

[Alexw]

Hi, a question from another guide regarding DE: Ultimately, you can't put experience into words, and that is right, but maybe you can look at a 'slice of Life'. What is there when there is no thinking? In this moment, what is seen/heard/felt etc. Give it as plainly as it comes, no matter if what comes is a story about life... and not life in its purity.


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[Nameless1995]

Some years ago an event triggered a certain state in the mind and the mind became open to life. It was the ultimate pinnacle of experience. Each air felt like love, the warmth, the cold, everything was bliss, the beauty was spell binding,
I kept on feasting in it, I walked slowly, slowly. I even made an excuse to get out and feast the eyes with the astounding beauty of life. After living years being dead, I was finally alive. And then I died again. All is impermanent. I can still activate that state to be kind of lost just by seeing a texture of a substance at its fullness. But now the concepts don't work. At that time my perception was still distorted. The mind was still subtly distorting. Now beauty, ugliness the concepts are gone. Now what I experience is ineffable. The mind does not categorize it or think much or feels much. All activities happen on surface. The inner depth has been voided out in silence.

[Nameless1995]

Nothing comes out. There is no interpretation. Even thinking is a part of life, and it does not really makes it impure or pure. 'Is' is the only thing that comes out. What is is just is. I can still look at life with the fullness, but the astonishing sense is not produced by mind anymore, there is no reaction, simply the calm silence of void within.

[Alexw]

I kept on feasting in it, I walked slowly, slowly. I even made an excuse to get out and feast the eyes with the astounding beauty of life. After living years being dead, I was finally alive. And then I died again.

Another guide asking regarding the above:
What is that 'I' that is claiming all this? Are you avoiding giving a 'slice of Life', a simple look into what is happening right now?

I can still look at life with the fullness, but the astonishing sense is not produced by mind anymore, there is no reaction, simply the calm silence of void within.

Yes, you are right in that it is only the mind that is producing this "astonishing sense" - over time also this judgement drops off and everything might "become more neutral"... Anyway there still is this experience, no matter if seen/judged to be joyful, painful or neutral. There is seeing of surroundings, hearing of sound etc... When sitting down and just listening I hear sound. I see thoughts passing by stating that these sounds are birds singing, insects buzzing and the occasional car driving by. But "in me" there is only sound - I see no border where the bird becomes sound or where the sound is being heard by a "me". There is only this sounding, there is only this experience and I am closer than close. There is no division - there is only the sounding, this experience!

[Nameless1995]

Who is the I? A mask without a face behind. A car without a driver. Who avoiding slice of life? Life avoiding slice of life? There is the sound of ceiling fan. A weird sound in left years ringing since months. A thought that the ear may be messed but there is no sense of care. There is writing. A sense of pleasure due to the weakness generated by fever. Cough cough, just now some cough cough happened. A reluctance to write anymore, already there had been facing of failures for two times when two great big answers were prepared. Can't think can't sense, mind is dying, dissolving in the void.

[Alexw]

Hi, don't worry, there are no wrong answers, just different interpretations of them. Will talk with other guides and see if they want to ask anything else... Get a nice hot tea and stay in bed :-)

[Alexw]

No more questions! You can friend me on Facebook - "Alex Kite"
We will then add you to the groups!