Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Decisions are thoughts which have a direct result in my actions. I am not sure how all decisions are made. I can see that, as with choice, the majority go on in the way that driving a car happens - without any concious control,
But when things are being thought through in awareness: "shall I do this, shall I do that?” and a decision is made, I can only say that I am not separate from the thoughts, that there is no gap. I am aware of the decision as it is made.
I understood free will to mean that there is autonomous agency (an independent will) directing all my actions and thoughts.
This no longer makes sense - I can see thoughts arise independently of my intervention.
The idea of free will depends on there being a sort of 'prior me' directing everything and reinforces the belief n that me in a sort of feedback loop because beleiving free will implies there must be a self directing things
There is will in the sense of the arising of intentional thoughts but it is free only in the sense that actions are not being coerced, forcibly opposed
The book shelf exercise showed me that choice (a thought / action) arises from an ever changing matrix of factors, habits, preferences, mood, energy level, thoughts, unconcious impulses.
This a mind bender.
I don't know what control is anymore. My thoughts, my actions have an impact on things. Beyond that, do I control them?
No. I don’t even control my own thoughts or feelings
What makes things happen?
Things just happen, all the time. Nothing makes them happen apart from all the other things that have happened or are happening. That includes my thoughts but as we have discussed, awarenesss changes things so if I bring awareness, it has an effect.
How does it work?
Based on my looking, I can speculate there is a vast / infinite dynamic loping interaction of cause and effect.
But I don't really know.
Somehow, somewhere there are memories, a sense of of continuity and history, habits, preferences, intentions but they cannot be seen separate from thought and imagination.
What are you responsible for?
This another mind bender.
Previously, the answer was: ‘everything’.
Now ‘nothing, it all just happens’ doesn’t feel right either.
I can bring awareness in, that changes things
I can try to live and look without the distorting belief that there is a separate self.
I am still working on all this!