Requesting a guide

[Firen]

Ah ok. So does it make sense for me to keep repeating the seeing exercises that feel most resonant over and over again until a shift in perception happens?

Please LOOK for any place where your butt ends & the chair begins.

I can find areas of pressure and tingling. But without using concepts and images from my mind of where my butt, arms, legs, and torso are, I can't actually find them in direct experience. It's just all one big soup.

Is there any clear dividing line between them? Or only the Sensation with no clear division?

No. Only sensation. There's no clear dividing line between any of it.

[Anastacia42]

Yes. only Sensation.

it make sense for me to keep repeating the seeing exercises that feel most resonant over and over again until a shift in perception happens?

Absolutely!

Have you read Gateless Gatecrashers or any of the other threads here? That can help.

Loving,

[Firen]

Have you read Gateless Gatecrashers or any of the other threads here?

I have read parts of both. I'll keep reading.

[Anastacia42]

Yes. Read, but also be sure to spend time LOOKING.

Loving,

[Firen]

Hi Stacy,

I'm feeling stuck. Every time I look or ask about the "me" I just go blank. My mind either tries to divert me away through distraction or there's just...nothing there. Like a dead end. I ask myself "what is the experience of being me?" What feelings alert me that the "me" is there? But I get nothing...the answer appears to be...I just am.

The butt chair exercise or any of the sensing ones bring up lots of doubt. My mind says "yeah I can't feel the line between my butt and the chair but I can see it if I open my eyes." I can't feel the world from the perspective of the chair so I am obviously not the chair. I am me, in this body. I understand that I am creating concepts with my mind but I feel trapped in the reality that I live in where things are separate things.

Any ideas?

[Anastacia42]

Yes.

I get nothing...the answer appears to be...I just am.

"Nothing" is correct!

There is no "me." Nothing there. Exactly!

lots of doubt

Watch Pernille's series on doubt, please.

https://youtu.be/a_8N331jpA4?si=wHE8KmhO7n9uwLPp

Let me knew how this goes.

Loving,

[Firen]

Hi Stacy,
I've been watching the videos and finding them helpful. I'll write more soon.
Firen

[Anastacia42]

Very good.

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

It's been a few days.

Which pointer are you doing? What is happening?

Loving,

[Firen]

Hi Stacy, thanks for checking in. We had a baby on Monday so it's been a bit chaotic.

Which pointer are you doing? What is happening?

I just started again listening to the videos you pointed me to on doubt. I'm now in lesson 3 of the doubt fetter.

The pointer that I feel resonates most with me is about thoughts—how they just happen on their own. I can see this very clearly. How I'm not actually controlling them. Thoughts are happening. And I can see how much energy I expend trying to control my thoughts. I can feel how much energy it costs to be constantly thinking so that I maintain the illusion of the "I". The constant thinking takes up a lot of energy. I can see how it takes me away from what is vibrant.

I'll keep listening to the videos. Do you have other suggestions for what I can be doing?

[Anastacia42]

A baby! Tell me about it and the name.

It is a wonder you have any time to do pointers

Remember that thoughts will continue. We just want to ignore them and not believe what they tell us.

ButtChair is your go to. Remember, I did only that for 3 months, no other pointers.

Here are some other pointers:

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ksba3zhi9uuz ... hsk1a?dl=0

Keep posting regularly. When the baby isn't needing you

Loving

[Firen]

Hi Stacy,
Her name is Davis Jo, or DJ for short. She's beautiful.
Everyone here is having a lot of feelings and not a lot of sleep. I have been up in the middle of the night with the baby a lot and I've taken some of that time the past few nights to listen to Pernille's videos on the 1st and 2nd fetters and to do butt chair. Nothing has shifted yet. I will keep doing it.
I've also listened to one of the other pointers you sent. I'll try some more of those.
I'll try to post more frequently even if I don't have major updates.
Firen

[Anastacia42]

What a clever name!

So glad you've been able to practice in the middle of all that.

Looking forward to your posts & your shift.

Remember to stay relaxed.

Welcome, DJà

Loving

[Firen]

How did ButtChair help you recognize the no-self?

[Anastacia42]

None of this can be explained with thinking. It's a mystery. I don't know. I can only make up stories.

"Enlightenment is an accident. Meditation makes us accident prone. "

Sunryu Suzuki

ButtChair is a Meditation. We're looking at something truer than the lie of separation, I guess. But I'm making that up. It's a story.

Ignore stories & thinking.

Just LOOK

Please watch this:

https://youtu.be/wyNwhK2Ur1c?si=TZwuFEst-7Hsadpu

and read this:

https://www.liberationunleashed.com/res ... ar-seeker/

Loving