Yes. This begins to sink in...It's is actually tragic how much energy and time is wasted when believing in erratic mind and thoughts, trying to protect illusion. Feeling sad about all those years or even decades...
Yes, this 'grieving' almost can come up. That is ok, but do question if anything really has been lost here?
When it was found out that Santa/batman/the easter bunny weren't real, this same reaction may have come up, but then it sinks in that these things are now just as real as they always were (i.e make believe) and nothing was actually lost in seeing that clearly.
Also looking back, could any of that have been different?
There are no concepts found in DE (except in contents of thoughts).
The content of thoughts as we use the model here by definition isn't D.E.
but there is undeniably a raw experience of thought arising, just like sound, sights etc. Buddhism actually classifys thought as the sixth sense for this reason.
I have always been thinking this is just a state and not necessarily pointing to reality. And thus by default, in daily life, experienced body sensations as subject-object experience without questioning.
Yes. Think of these meditation states as laboratory conditions.
Now we are taking that stuff out into 'field work' and testing if it still works.
But in this moment, when typing and fingers feels cold, looking at that, concentrating on coldness alone, raw sensation is still there. On the other hand, in subject-object experience there are always thoughts and/or images about body part/location.
Fantastic looking here. Yes 4 years on I am still exploring this stuff. It is fascinating to continue to explore what is the raw sensation/experience before images/labelling and story telling about it happens.
That basically is the key to further looking well beyond what we point to on this forum.
Things seem to be shifting at the moment. So lets take 24 hours and I want you to come back and let me know if there are any sticking points, any areas where there is not confidence when looking that a separate self, Chape is not a real inherent entity.
Also any fears or reactions coming up still so we can work through them together.