'morning Bennett, wow, another heavy post. This bipolar type swinging from high to low is brain-controlled hormone driven.
Everything is affected, even the words that you use. There are many hormones and some affect the production and distribution of other hormones. It is really complex and modern medicine is still 'in the dark' about much of this stuff.
Nevertheless, mood stabilization can be achieved in the short term with a mindfulness exercise, and longer term meditation has been shown to benefit greatly.
In a way, you could describe what i do here as mindfulness. A narrowing of focus to achieve in the longer term a widening of perspective. This leads to wisdom imho.
Lost is lost. If I recognize that I am lost in thought, and I is just another thought is there recognition there or just more lost thought?
This question could be taken in a few ways.
The first is to take it literally, which would lead us into a philosophical discussion.
The second way is to recognize that it is a statement of despair. A reflection of your mood of hopelessness.
The third way is to take it as a gateway back to what really matters here, and this is what i intend.
A lot of what i say could be taken as a philosophical rant, but it is always (i hope) relatable to experience.
Even though recognition may be accompanied by thoughts that verbalize a realization, there is also a physical response to it. An AHA! experience, sometimes subtle, and sometimes world changing, and everything in between.
When i say to celebrate the recognition, there are background stories about this being a good thing. Stories about changing brain function, about depleting old habits (addictions to certain responses) Stories about future well-being.
It is the total of the experience elicited (that we label recognition) that we look to to change the brain habits.
In your case we hope to stimulate a release of Seretonin in the short term, and in the long term make new synaptic connections, resulting in more adaptive neuronal pathways.
there is still a strong sense of a me here and a world there that feels very real,
It may take many years for this sense of
a me to weaken. It is a useful thing as it makes communication possible. It keeps you safe as you cross the road. etc.
Just as the world appears real, and others need to be related to as if they were separate. It's only when you consider these things that you are reminded that they are illusions. That something else is what is actual. What that something else is, is a mystery. We can only have stories about that, which we recognize as actually unimportant. We don't need the how and why in order to have a pleasant life.
even with all this questioning it remains,unmoved and unconvinced of its non existence.
What does it matter? Do you need to know how your inner organs work, or do you simply trust that they will?
If thought by its very nature takes us away from truth is any of it useful?
i have no idea what this thing you call truth is. ..and again, if it does exist, who cares? (not me)
Yup, sure seems like my thoughts, concepts and beliefs make up my lived experience. Not a pleasant one, which is the main motivation for questioning them...that and some deep inextinguishable fire that wants to "know the Truth"
Knowing the truth, is as useful as knowing how your television works. Entertainment at best. What will change your experience is changing your stories.
Any idea how we can do that?
to find it, stop looking for it.
It appears paradoxical. Stop looking for it, doesn't mean give up.
It means that it won't happen just because you are looking for it.
The intense desire to attain it is (imho) very important. i obsessed for 43 years before it happened. It's a stand out in the many i have guided 'successfully'. The real value in this is the persistence to keep you going when despair hits. (and it often does)
But would that as motivation fall into the "expectations" category?
Ha yes. expectations happen. Recognizing expectations as stories that might or might not be accurate is the way to relate to them. ..again though, who has control of thoughts?
If they arise we would hope that the recognition stories arise too.
.and so just being able to sit back and enjoy the show...which you helped write and produce and are staring in.
Go to the front of the class. Very good. (grin)
If I truly did, wouldnt I give up trying to control or influence any situation?
This too takes time & practice. We will continue to behave AS IF we have control, as this too is useful for negotiating daily life. The effort that this illusion produces if it is believed, is one of the reasons for the production of cortisol (the stress hormone). After ten years of practice, if i hit a shitty golf shot, I'm like "that's unfortunate". If i do it twice in a row, I'm like "hmm, somethings not working, accept it and move on." When it happens three times in a row, anger often burst through and i want to punish the ground with my club, but within seconds i am laughing at the intensity of my response. i wonder how long before no anger or frustration happens.
Thanks for your time and interest Vince
Youre very welcome. Thank you for the value that you are for me.
with love & compassion