Good evening Helen,
ego self would have no relevance here
Oh, ego does have relevance. ..but in saying this we have to define what we mean by ego. It is a word with a thousand meanings. Different for everybody.
We can fairly easily see that there is no actual, inherent self running the show, but we can't deny that there is a whole book about a self. Many chapters each describing different aspects, different characteristics of this identity.
Ego is often used to aggrandize the identification with certain aspects of the story. Which brings us to how we respond to that story. What we refer to as ego is that feeling of being more important. Special. When we feel inflated about ourselves, we are identifying with that story big time.
This whole process is intending to dissolve that bond to the story. To cease identifying with anything. To recognize that identification is to respond to that story blindly.
How ego and self is relevant is that it enables us to negotiate daily life. It's necessary for communication.
But when we use a hammer we don't think that we are a hammer. It is a useful tool. Well, self/ego is just that. A useful tool. We don't need to identify as it to use it.
When somebody compliments us, we (usually) get a flood of good feelings. That is ego, and it will continue for some time, but at the same time we don't need to believe that feeling is saying anything real. It is just habit from years of conditioning.
and life would be lived with awe.
There will (probably)be much of that to anticipate, but it is unlikely that it will be always there.
So intent is just a happening!
Always look to your own experiencing to check these things. You can often see triggers that seem to produce thoughts that state intentions, but if you look closer you can see that there are many other conditions involved. Then you can check to see if those intentions were carried out the way they were originally meant to be. We usually remember the ones that happened like we wanted and forget the ones that didn't eventuate. Watch over the next 24 hours and see what occurs.
I feel like I am fiddling with detail rather than seeing the bigger picture.
The bigger picture is made up of details. What you fiddle with just happens. Be relaxed.
The conditions of past generations and actions taken all seem to imply a timeline
Yes, conditions and time are both stories. They can't get close to what is actual, but they do point to something.
Mind cannot get this as it works with past and future where a me is involved. This seems to be the crux of the matter. Seeing from a me.
Yes. The sense of self
doesn' mean an actual self. When we believed it to be actual, it was a delusion. Now it is a mirage, an illusion. That will persist because you are human. It's that useful tool again.
And I don’t quite know how to explore it like I’ve explored untruths. Please say more.
We are doing that. It's interesting that when one untruth is discovered, others are revealed at the same time.
i fell through the portal THIS IS IT, and when asked about the existence of a Self, it was instantly clear that it wasn't actual. The same for control and responsibility. When the story of conditions was formed, there was a recognition that everything is/was dependent on everything else. That the interdependence went as far as there being no bits, but that it was all one.
Words are entirely inadequate. It's like i am trying to chop a huge tree down with a pocket knife. If i could share this throbbing in my head and this sensation in my stomach with you, you would instantly recognize what i mean.
You are me. You are the part of me that aches to understand what is beyond the capacity of this puny mind.
Thank you Vince I am very grateful for your words
You're welcome, and thank you Helen for taking me on this exciting journey. Tonight has been a blast.
with much love