Ok

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Freerider
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Ok

Postby Freerider » Wed Jul 05, 2017 8:07 am

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
There is no me. Body, toughts, action..etc. It's only life happening trough this body. Ego/Maya makes the real life/meaning of life so hard to happen.

What are you looking for at LU?
Help to wake up. Help to realise where to look, How to look throw 'my' fears. I want to realise the truth. I think I need Help to make sure my direction is right. Need help with ego, How to be able to regognize it And then go throw it.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
To see more clearly where to look And How to Do it. I think I have experience me:less somehow but i really want to make sure that I'm looking for the 'right' direction. I want to end the drama of my childhood that is still sometimes taking over my life. I want my guidance to be straight, I'm so tired of How life is now: everybody wants to be pleased all the time :D

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
Meditation And be led By spiritural leader for 5 years.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?: 10

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Andrei
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Re: Ok

Postby Andrei » Sat Jul 15, 2017 3:45 pm

Hi Freerider,

Welcome to LU. I would be happy to help you with your inquiry.

Let's get straight to business.
Need help with ego, How to be able to regognize it
Well, is there such a thing as an ego? How do you know? Where would you locate it?

Or is it more like a thought. "I'm doing this. I am". A thought that tells a story about something that doesn't exist in real life.

Where does that thought come from? Follow the trail :)



Andrei

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Freerider
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Re: Ok

Postby Freerider » Sat Jul 15, 2017 5:59 pm

Hi Andrei!

Happy to hear from you.

Well if I look from the 'eyes of truth' ego dosen't excist. Because only truth exist so ego must be a dream.

The tough of ego comes from years And years of suffering. Then realysing that it is not the truth, it must be a Play that we think is our life. So it must be that we are acting our life..or living in a dream.

Even know it's so easy to listen the dream when a feeling comes. Even if I know it has nothing to Do with anything, that it's only a tought that I have created to describe a feeling. And then I have started to beleave it is the truth.

Freerider

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Andrei
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Re: Ok

Postby Andrei » Sat Jul 15, 2017 6:41 pm

Well if I look from the 'eyes of truth' ego dosen't excist. Because only truth exist so ego must be a dream.
What is the t r u t h and what is t r u e on this plane?

Over here we investigate everything. Nothing is sacred because the devil hides in the details :)

And second, when you say "ego" (aka "self", "I", etc.) what do you mean by it?
You already mentioned it's a dream, a story, a thought. Is there anything else?

And third...
Even if I know it has nothing to Do with anything, that it's only a tought that I have created to describe a feeling.
Did you create that thought or did it just poped up on your mind screen?
This question is loaded with implications. Take your time with it.
Also, let me know if I ask too many questions at once. Sometimes I get carried away :))

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Freerider
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Re: Ok

Postby Freerider » Sat Jul 15, 2017 9:06 pm

Hi again,

I'm not really sure if I understand this correctly but Do you mean that it isn't true if it's only a tought? that toughts are causing my suffering And they aren't really my toughts, only tought that popped up to my minds screen when action/feeling happened?

That only real thing is colour, taste, but tought I can not say that they are mine toughts, that's why I can not say they are true/real?

By ego I mean toughts that are causing this suffering, like nobody likes me, I'm going to be all alone. Fears that activated in this body when some feeling activates them. For me it comes like that: feeling~> toughts~> suffering. If I have to say a place where ego lives for me, it would be this body.. it's like a sticky bubble gum..dosent want to give up dram. Even if When I think aboute 'my' body I really cant say where that would be:D there is no thing As my body or my toughts I quess? No my kids, etc. By dream I mean that if I'm living in illusion of 'me' that perhaps is the same thing that actually living in a dream.

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Andrei
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Re: Ok

Postby Andrei » Sun Jul 16, 2017 5:08 am

You use the word truth a lot and I want you to look into it and see whether truth is anything more than a concept made to interpret things one way or another? Is truth anything more than a mind-made construct?

And what exactly is true in your experience and how did you reach that conclusion? How do you part truth from fake?

Do you mean that it isn't true if it's only a tought? that toughts are causing my suffering And they aren't really my toughts, only tought that popped up to my minds screen when action/feeling happened?
No what I meant was, do you c r e a t e your thoughts (all of them) or do they just appear out of nowhere?
If the former, how do you do it? What are the steps?

If the latter, does ego happens too? Your thoughts/suffering/dreams - do you have anything to do with them or do they just happen as well?

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Freerider
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Re: Ok

Postby Freerider » Sun Jul 16, 2017 4:19 pm

I've spend years seeking the 'truth'. It was my survival thing growing up, 'this is not reality/truth'. But looking from now perspective I really can not say anything is truth or that truth Even excsist or what it excactly is.

Exploring ego. I realised that my toughts have created it. I've interped peoples action and tought toward me being the reality for me. Now I see that it is only in my head, toughts that I have created And then took them As my reality. Bigges fear is that somebody is going to reject me. That I'm nothing, nobody is interested if I even excsist. But this is only my fears that I have created And took As my life. Just toughts, no reality.

I have taken other people action toward me, or the feeling that it made me feel, my reality. Actually this is quite funny when I see it like this. All this suffering for nothing else that my own toughts.

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Andrei
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Re: Ok

Postby Andrei » Sun Jul 16, 2017 4:45 pm

I've spend years seeking the 'truth'. It was my survival thing growing up, 'this is not reality/truth'. But looking from now perspective I really can not say anything is truth or that truth Even excsist or what it excactly is.
Ok. I had to ask because like I said you use that word a lot and had to make sure it's not some sort of belief or anything else that can impede you in anyway.

Exploring ego. I realised that my toughts have created it.
So far so good, but you still haven't answered my questions.
You keep saying: "My own thoughts", "I created those thoughts" and stuff, and this is something that you really need to tend to in this inquiry:
Do you c r e a t e your thoughts (all of them) or do they just appear out of nowhere?
If the former, how do you do it? What are the steps?


And who says thoughts are not real?

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Freerider
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Re: Ok

Postby Freerider » Mon Jul 17, 2017 5:15 am

Do you c r e a t e your thoughts (all of them) or do they just appear out of nowhere?
If the former, how do you do it? What are the steps?


I have no idea if I make my own toughts, it´s me who is beleaving in them (so they came my reality) but who the maker of my toughts is..this is really tricky to me. Nobody? if I think for example a tree,I think it is learned beleafe that it is more than just a colour, everything else is just thinking happening By experience somebody else has tought me to think. But who the formes is, I can not name anybody.

When I have a situation in my life that prings up feelings to face. Feeling happens, and then my brain start to go over and over the situation where the feeling happened. When I´m trying to face the feeling, just let it be and ask what is it that the feeling is here to tell me I have to seperate my tought from the feeling because it´s only a feeling with a story. Is thinking only story thelling then? no rality..I have to admit that really more than else I´m confused with this guestion.

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Andrei
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Re: Ok

Postby Andrei » Mon Jul 17, 2017 5:43 am

Is thinking only story thelling then? no rality..I have to admit that really more than else I´m confused with this guestion.
That's the thing. It's what's hidden and what makes you confused that you need to look into because that's where that which reiterates the existence of the self might be hiding, which is funny though because there's nothing there but you will have to shed some light by yourself. Third parties information won't help you.
No worries though, I'm here to help.

I have no idea if I make my own toughts, it´s me who is beleaving in them (so they came my reality) but who the maker of my toughts is..this is really tricky to me. Nobody?
Ok, let's try something simple. Can you create/pick a thought right now? Calm down, clear your head and then try to create/pick a thought.
If you can there should be some steps involved just like when making an omelette.

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Freerider
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Re: Ok

Postby Freerider » Mon Jul 17, 2017 6:15 am

Ok, let's try something simple. Can you create/pick a thought right now? Calm down, clear your head and then try to create/pick a thought.
If you can there should be some steps involved just like when making an omelette.

No I can´t there are no thoughts in presence if I clear my head. There is only now. Actually it´s hard to even experience my body in now moment. It´s just energy/some kind of awareness.

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Andrei
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Re: Ok

Postby Andrei » Mon Jul 17, 2017 6:52 am

So "your" thoughts have nothing to do with you.

What about the ego? Is "your" ego yours or it's just a construct of sorts that happens somehow and you have erroneously taken it to have something to do with you?
(That implying there is such a thing as an ego which obviously isn't.)

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Freerider
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Re: Ok

Postby Freerider » Mon Jul 17, 2017 7:39 am

What about the ego? Is "your" ego yours or it's just a construct of sorts that happens somehow and you have erroneously taken it to have something to do with you?
(That implying there is such a thing as an ego which obviously isn't.


Well yes, it´s not mine. And because it´s illusion I don`t have to take it as `my´ life..

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Andrei
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Re: Ok

Postby Andrei » Mon Jul 17, 2017 8:06 am

You mentioned earlier some fears, that people will reject you or that you're nobody.
Is that still an issue?

When I say "There is no you", is there any tension, any arising fear?

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Freerider
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Re: Ok

Postby Freerider » Mon Jul 17, 2017 1:16 pm

When I say "There is no you", is there any tension, any arising fear?

Yes, feeling in my body is tension and pressure at my throat area. Only feeling in my body, no thoughts.

If I feel that someone is thinking that I´m no one (at work, my friend, etc), it immediately bring up fear and anger, also sorrow. Like `why is this happening to me´ `what did I do wrong, also stories like `don´t make me feel their feelings´`she/he is a energy taker to make me feel like that´`I´m all alone, nobody like to be with me´. If I just feel the feeling, it`s not so bad/anything more than just a feeling, no good/bad, only feeling in my body, pressure yes but I can handle that, but sometimes the story is so strong that `I´start to believe in it.


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