Tired and at the end of my rope

[MayurN]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
It means there are simply processes, experiences, sensations but no solid entity behind all these phenomena. The self I consider myself to be is a ghost in the machine, apparent but nowhere to be found when looked for with precision.

What are you looking for at LU?
Looking for the end of seeking. The end of suffering, rather the sufferer. I'm tired of getting caught in a trap of my own making. I feel like everything has become useless, all methods, paths, gurus, books. All of it. I want to be done.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
Being done. Reaching a point of no return, not a temporary state or experience or profound insights. No more aha moments or feeling like I can stand in front of a truck and nothing will happen to me because I experienced "I am everything!". All of that has come and gone, except the suffering which persists.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I've tried pretty much ALL OF IT. I've read all the books, tried all kinds of meditations, sat with self-inquiry for years. Spirituality itself feels like a giant scam at this point.

The book Liberation Unleashed gave a clear, sober glimpse that there is no I and a honeymoon period ensued for months but then the I returned and an even more profound suffering.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 11