1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No there isn't a separate self, me nor I. There isn't anything shaped like an I and there was never. There was only that thought or idea that there is an I, which latched onto a form but ...

What is left is a form with a lot of sensations that constantly come and go and pulse and vibrate and change. And that seems to do all of that without being directed. There are thoughts that come and go and emotions that come and go, arising out of nowhere and dissolving. And there is that one ...

I don't know where the thought comes from or goes to. It is there and then it isn't there. I can't even tell whether it is inside or outside "my head" - it arises and disappears, can't spot its beginning nor its end.

There isn't anything called "illusion" in DE, there are thoughts and ideas that ...

Hi smudge

I am not sure what illusion is like from direct experience as it is just getting too abstract. The my was pointing towards this form that for convenience sake is referred to as 'mine'. The thought arose from not sure where... No-one was thinking it, it was there and then it was gone ...

mmmm... a thought that arises "there is some one in my head looking out into the world"
:-D

No, there isn't any doubt that I is an illusion - though the illusion still creeps in!

No, the thought does not make the hand move. The thought comments on the movement or not. A thought arises and a movement happens - but not like the thought makes the movement happen or many thoughts happen without action at all.

So for example: thought "I could have a sip of my tea"... space ...

Is a thought ever concerned, can a thought be concerned?

What I meant there was more that sometimes a thought does have a some connection with a sensation or emotion or movement of the body - eg. thought "I'll have a sip of my tea" and the hand moves towards the cup of tea.

But sometimes eg ...

Choice just seem to happen. A thought can arise slightly before or after a muscle movement. Or a thought arises slightly after noticing a sensation upon which a movement happens and the thought could be labeled as "choice", but really there is only noticing and movement. And sometimes the thought ...

Hi Smudge,

Form does not equal "me". Whenever I investigate where form begins or ends I cannot find the edge. Whenever I look for "me" in form, all there is, is sensation - lots of pulsing sensations actually! and movement - it all coming and going. Also a sense of the "objects" happening ...

Hi Smudge,

Yes, that mix up seems what is happening, especially form seems to be the evidence of an I. :-/

In the body: there is pressure, burning and sharpness, there is dryness, congestion, heaviness, warmth, more pressure, itching, wetness, tickle, contraction, rawness,...
Sensations: despair ...

Hi Smudge,

Just one more thought I had over the weekend, as I find it so difficult to describe the I in DE. How can I describe something in DE that isn't there? It's like all I can describe with DE is the constant flow of thoughts and sensations and emotions-though I am not sure whether those are ...

Hi Smudge,

Thanks for your encouraging words! I'm in a better space today... A lot of fear for nothingness, the big black whole and a clinging onto that self have been playing up over the weekend. And thoughts and emotions of resistance arising - "I don't want to see through, I am happier in this ...

Hi Smudge,

I am trying to hang in there looking. I am now coming down with a cold as well, so not in great shape. Trying to stay with DE as much as I can, with the sensations in my body and the coming and going of thoughts, but on the whole just quite upset and not sure I am doing very well here ...

Dear Smudge,

Sorry for the late reply. I've split up with my boyfriend, so more painful experiences arising: shivering, pressure in my chest, contraction in my stomach, pulsing heartbeat during the argument and wetness of the tears. Coldness of the evening air on my skin standing at my friend's ...