I'm going to France today for a week and won't have access to the internet. Will post something next week when I'm back.

Rain making a tap, tap sound on metal, screeching of door opening, peoples voices, reflection of Catalan flag in window, peoples voices, breeze on face, rain, coolness, door banging, stronger breeze, birds, shutters moving, green shutters red stool, church bells, cat sitting on balcony, bitter sweet ...

No its just thought and sensation.
This solid fixed self feels tight, contracted and small.

I was referring to this solid fixed self that didn't want to feel the pain. My was referring to the same. What was being protected was this thing I call me. The torture was having to revisit the pain again.
As I'm writing this its sounding ludicrous and absurd . I'm looking across at photos of me at ...

The intensity of the negativity lifted. But this is ongoing stuff for me , dealing with jealousy and insecurity, so it arises and passes, arises and passes. The negative states stick for awhile and then move on. MG

Ok answering your first thread. I did mean to write I was protecting myself. I closed down. No all the negativity didn't vanish in 10 minutes, I could just see more clearly what was going on, I could see the conditions that led to what happened. I could see my part in it more clearly and so didn't ...

Gee this feels like torture!! Okay re visited a dukkha experience from a few days ago of jealousy and insecurity. Almost immediately I started crying, tightness and pounding in the chest, churning in the stomach, pain in my forehead ?Noticed I didn't want to be feeling the tensions in my body but ...

Last week my partner criticised me about something and immediately I felt wounded and hurt. I tried to stay with the experience, churning in the belly, wanting to cry, tight throat but I could only manage about 20 seconds. Then stuff blurted out of my mouth causing a big mess. After about 10 minutes ...

Hi MB could you word question 2 differently for me please? Ta MG

Hi MB, damn just sent a reply and it got lost. Bit hard doing this on my phone. I will be off line from tomorrow for 2 weeks.

It was last Saturday the 24th August. She asked me where I thought the self was in my body. I said my head. Then she asked me to really look for the self there and could I ...

Hi no flight im on a train now to the mountains. MG

Hi MB,

Question 1. No there isn't and there never has been.

Question 2. I can give an example of something that happened last week. I started comparing myself with someone who I have often compared myself with. I observed the uncomfortable sensations in my body, feelings of jealousy, inadequacy. I ...

I can relate to being the observer of mental events, thoughts, emotions etc, that's what I've been trying to 'practice' recently. When this happens I'm not swamped by 'stuff', I'm a watcher watching what's taking place in my body etc. I can see how that is also dualistic but find it hard to imagine ...

Yep Im in the UK now.

Lying on my bed here in the Polish countryside for the last time. Listening to the birds outside, looking at the light in the room, feeling the slight churn in my stomach because I don't want to leave the peace and quiet of the country. Allowing everything in. When I don't resist I feel softer, less ...