That's great Mark.

Many thanks again for your time and guidance.
I feel there is a lot to absorb and reflect on.

In some ways I feel like I am just starting now, and want to go back and reread all the many books I have read over the years. This time understanding them in a new way.

Best wishes

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No there is not. There is no centre to experience and no one who is having an experience. There never was, only the mistaken view that there was.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion ...

All that time and effort the imaginary me spent trying to lose itself!

Yes, exactly! I look back over my 20 odd years of practice and, aside from some very good work, I see a fair amount of ego polishing and preciousness about 'my' spiritual life. This process has being so helpful in seeing ...

Nice. So can you say that 'self' has now been seen through?

Yes, 'self' has been seen through. I used to think that that was a grand statement to make but it seems so simple and obvious. I cannot find any trace of 'self' in experience. I cannot go back to believing in it now, it seems like an ...

No, there is no continuity or centre point. There is nothing that has continuity of being.

'Sense of self' has been replaced by a sense of unbounded awareness, a field in which sensations appear. I don't experience a 'sense of self' the way I did at the beginning.
I can't find a self in experience ...

There is nothing but direct experience, all there ever is. I sit in my meditation hut in the garden in silence, it's direct experience. I take the kids to a noisy playground, it's direct experience.

The past doesn't exist except in thought, there is just a naked awareness 'now'. The future is ...

But if you sit and look at these 'states' in DE -- they are just senstations with thought stories attached

Yes this is true, I see what happened. I lost touch with the DE of the sensations and got lost in a thought story.

just look at them 'nakedly' -- with no elaboration

Weel it was just a ...

OK, thanks, this is a good exercise, I see what it is leading to.
I'll need a bit of time to do it and will report back then.

A little postscript from yesterday...

After my initial excitement in the morning from doing the Rupert Spira meditation, I then went through about three hours of feeling ...

That exercise was really, really helpful thanks. I feel I am beginning to see what you are pointing to. I did have a sense of just experiencing sensation somehow floating in a knowing space; the new born baby analogy really helped. Right now I feel that this has gone in deeply, or at least I can say ...

OK, the exercise...

I didn't find it very easy to do. It was as if I was trying to grab experience and put it under a microscope. It wouldn't stay still, like trying to stop time. Although there were definite sensations present it still felt somehow intangiable.

Can you feel where the body ends ...

Just notice how everything works on auto-pilot

Yes, this is something I've been aware of for quite some time now, I've even mentioned it when teaching meditation. However, now as I reflect on it a bit more I realise that I understood it as 'we' are on autopilot, rather than everything being on ...

I took some time out today to do the exercise you suggested. The only time I had was straight after a busy day at work so the conditions weren't ideal as I was tired but I felt the exercise was effective nonetheless.
I started by describing what was going on with the 'I am' prefix. It became a bit ...

‘Sense of self’ isn’t the problem

This is really good, it clarifies something for me, I think I need to sit with this and reflect on it a bit. Having a sense of self is fine and normal, even for a Buddha, but mistaking it for something real and existing is the problem. This might be basic stuff ...

Hi Mark

Thanks for agreeing to guide me.

I decided to let your questions sit with me a bit before replying.

There is no ‘self’, no ‘me’, no ‘I’, and there never has been.

I certainly understand this in an intellectual way and from the point of view of knowing basic doctrine. My immediate ...

Hi

After a few months of looking, reading and thinking about this I think it's time to go for it. Ideally I would like a Buddhist guide as I am a Buddhist and have many years of practice.

Any help would be appreciated
Thanks
Neil