Thank you liberation unleashed and my dear friend in emptiness smudge. On the groundless ground ...looking..for now there is a sence of freedom..thank you xxx

I must tell you...because I laughed for an hour ..my mother called after I posted earlier wanting to discuss death with me....how ironous is that !

Doing the headless exercise now ..and all evening ..body felt sence already changing ...this is huge smudge...and yes the belief in a me is dying and there is grief or what I sence to be grief at this moment ..could also be called exhaustion of a concept of self...the end of a cycle the end of the ...

Looking...

Ego does not want to accept death as part of lifeing...ego is felt in this moment throwing a tantrum and running g stories about why there should be anger or non acceptance of death

I'm stuck on the death thing ...sometimes I feel so fucking angry that death exists !

No non existence cannot be found now ...its a projection of some point in the future ..not now ..in this moment there is life ..story of this future death.which will happen...is..with this experience continuously..only ever a breath away.

Mmm that is it ...the nhilistic tendency is strong..yep defo tipped into that ..what is felt is an unexplainable sorrow...tears falling..there is something inside me thats being opened...a sence of death...in a way Storyville reports what's the point its all dust in the wind its all impermanent we ...

What is body...
Experienced in DE as a point of experiencing the world of form as form....body as a temporary appearance in this mirror that is held in this hand...in a sence this experience feels it as an aliveness a weaving dance of warm tingling matter...in the moment....then something reports ...

No. no connection between an I and thoughts...when looked for there is a sence of the chicken and the egg dilemma ...this experience asking ...what comes first...a sence of paradox is felt..thoughts manifesting in a mind that does not exist felt in an experience of an I that does not exist...what a ...

No. no connection between an I and thoughts...when looked for there is a sence of the chicken and the egg dilemma ...this experience asking ...what comes first...a sence of paradox is felt..thoughts manifesting in a mind that does not exist felt in an experience of an I that does not exist...what a ...

Supposed to read " especially as this is being performed by something that does not exist"

What is ego?
In this experience what is senced when looking for ego is a deep sence of suffering...ego feels like a portal a doorway to deep suffering...eg..there is a sence of physical contraction ..knotting up when faced with " things" that seem to be manifesting what is undesirable to the ...

Cont. Just what is ...

Mind cannot be foun...when looking there is a sence a feeling of being bent backwards...what seems to be mind. When looked for ...moves..when looking for mind there is a sence of something there ..but it is felt in this experience as what can be described as a vibration that continues manifesting ...

Looking ....for mind