There seems to be a battle between the space and ego. The ego is frightened of this space.

The question that haunts me is, how do you function from this space- in day to day living?

I suppose the ego is afraid of annilation.

The motivation is different too.

I sometimes worry that the motivation will not come back, - or how will I motivate myself.

The experience still seems to vaccillate.

I think I have sense of what you're getting at. That their is no stabilzation.

But I still experience it as going back and forth between ego and soul.

If I don't call it the space- but a lack of thoughts.

How do you function- get things done. It's very strange.

There doesn't seem to be any motivation.

Yes, I see what you are saying is true- when I'm in the space.

I don't mean to be contentious. But I'm not in that space all the time. I fall back. I realize it is ego.

What I can say with certainty is that I know, I am not my ego, as an experience.

I'm tired out. The spiritual awkening ...

I realize the ego is a learned conceptual structure.

What I experienced is that it is still there- even when I'm in, I now know its not real.

I am aware of this other space beyond ego- which is quiet spacious- thick. Often it's very soothing too.

But my experience is I go between the two. It's ...

Thank you for youe reply. Sorry I haven't been on everyday, but it was difficult.

Will try to get on more regurlarly.

When I said I had been here before- I meant this space. It was last year- but it didn't last.

I will consider your questions , and reply soon.

Today is a cool day. I don't feel ...

I've been meditating for 20 years- breath meditation. Whilst I've visited this place before- this is a shift to a new place.

The fear I feel is caused by everything collapsing all the structures of mind/ego. The ego is still there. What I feel is happening is that I am being detached from ego.

All ...

Everything's collapsed.

There was this great disorientation. There was a lot a fear.

You kind of felt like you were falling apart, it felt horrible.

You take one day at a time, and do whats infront of you. You wonder whats happenning.

Things falling away- not quite sure which bits- but there is this loss. And fear of ...

Motivation for anything? Sometimes I feel I could just sit and look out of the window forever, never do anything.

There is a thickness to the moment. Like forgetting everything.
When everything was collapsing- there was tremendous fear and apprehension.

I felt a profound sense of instability- this ...

Having a spiritual awakening. Have felt completly lost. Been through lots of fear.

Settling down.

Wonder where the motivation will come from?

What happens next?