Dear Ilona:
Yes, what I referred to with the level of experience and level of thoughtss is the followong: its is felt very different to just be living in the present sensing the energy in the moment WITHOUT BELIEVING THE STORY and living within the story and believing it. this is the difference I ...

1) Being just an idea the me has never existed. It has been an idea always and therefore it has never existed in any way shape or form. The me is just a connection between thoughts. The me is a supposition. If there is a body, and a name and a history all this must be conducted by a me and also ...

Yes send the last questions.
All love,
Jenny

Dear Ilona:
This is how I see it: I think I have been in a process of waking up long time ago. I think these dialogues with you helped to speed up a little, and to have more depth and surrender more. I am really very grateful. I continue feeling it is happening an it will continue happening. I ...

Dear Ilona:
Wow, we are connected! Immediate answer!
The change i see since the beginning of the conversation: what I see hapenned was basically the sense of the me tried very hard to make its way and arguments and more arguments to prove its existence in some way and through this conversation there ...

Hi Ilona:
Since the moment there was a decision to open to what is here, there has been a opening in the knowing THERE IS JUST HERE. It does not matter if there is a nice sensation being experienced or not. Its just opening to what is, and allow that any sense of self can be destroyed by the energy ...

Yes word life is just it. Other words? Eternity, presence, awareness,energy, love, nothingness, being-ness, it, what no word can describe.
This morning meanwhile I was taking a shower i felt so joyous and complete and felt nothing was missing. this is the experience now.
Surrendering to the fact ...

Dear Ilona:
I want to thank you again for this dialogue, really deeply from my heart.
You say it sounds a bit intellectual, and this is it, I agree. if feels as if I could answer any question you ask. I have been in this more than 40 years! When I say need to go deeper I mean it, because at a level ...

This is what I am aware of:
1) the me is an ilussion, it is just an idea and so it does not exist.
2) the me is very conditioned so it seems to exist and continues appearing.
3) there is no sense in paying attention to the desires in following any desire or idea of thought because it does not take ...

Yes, it is time to stop.

Yes, when not imagining anything, there is only here and this is home.
And identification is just sensations that when not labeled are just sensations, energy, like any other movement in form. No meaning.
Much love,
Jenny

Dear Ilona:

The sadness and weakness changed yesterday dramatically after writing to you.
At the end of writing to you the longing to be in reality and "home" became very strong and very felt. Suddenly I was identifying with someone getting home and being united. It feels this is very close but of ...

Dear Ilona:

It is impressive you mentioned the physical weakness because that is exactly what this body is going through. This physical weakness comes with pain and even a depressive feelings that seems underneath all the rest. It seems as every single activity in life has been done to cover this ...

Dear Ilona, Now everything is showing up:
I can see clearly how I have been holding to an idea of a me achieving some spiritual greatness, how much desired has been the suppossed goodies of an awakening like eternal love and peace, how much I have desired that instead of the pure truth, and how ...

No, I do not exist or never existed. And there is not gate to cross. Who would cross and what would be crossed?
How do I feel? When I look I feel free. But the experience varies. Yesterday I felt very free in seeing there was nobody to identify. This morning there was an identification. There was a ...