Hi Mark
I enjoyed this exercise.
I think this is my sticking point belief i.e. T

So there is seeing of 'no self to be found' I am unsure how to categrise that, could be a belief or a direct experience depending on whether I am talking about now experience or past experience

But the belief of ...

Hi Mark

- Beliefs and seeing have come a long way since I started but there is a feeling that there may be something further.

Can you tell me about this. What is the feeling? What references? What ideas?

However the everyday functioning of life runs (mostly) through the filter of belief of self ...

Hi Mark
Hope you are well.
It has been a 4 week gap since my last post. I have had nothing new to report, it has been just life as usual. I have revisited our discussion and your questions during everyday activities at the back of my head and come to report following:
- there has been genuine ...

Hi Mark
I am back! :)

Let me take a step back and discuss this morning's process. There has been a lot of frustration in the past few days, almost desire to quit this looking 'because I'm stuck and not getting any further' etc. I also realised that what I had understood so far was a very convinced ...

Hi Mark

So please let me know whether you are still looking for something more special than THIS. Or is it seen that THIS changing, ever-metamorphosing, evolving moment with ALL of its alive sensations, is ALL THERE IS? This is a very important point to consider (and answer please) as it indicates ...

Hi Mark
If there's something lacking then it's seeking. If there's a curious exploring of this wild ride which is already happening, then I'd call it exploring. So which does it feel like, Sandeep?
I have to admit, there is quite often a want of more...and a curious looking at right now that ...

Thanks for trusting me Mark

Could it be that some kind of grieving process could be happening here, the loosening of grip on what had been hoped for?

That could be a perfectly valid explanation for it. My other explanation is (all from the mind I realise) that the baseline anxiety/restlessness ...

Hi Mark
Taking a little bit more time with this. Always on my mind and will reply in detail soon.
Thanks and regards
Sandeep

Thanks Mark

Is there disappointment that THIS seems so ordinary, not a more extraordinary experience which might have been expected?

First regarding 9: Please give me a rant. Try put into words that 'such heaviness, emptiness, almost sadness'. Describe it in detail along with both its claimed ...

Hi Mark

1. Have you been able to find, a ‘self’ that is the ‘experiencer’?

2. Or a self that is 'the doer', or can control what happens?

3. Or a self that ‘makes’ decisions?

4. Or a self who ‘does the thinking’?

5. Can "the body" be found to be any more than label for sensations (namely ...

Thanks for that Mark

This IS a seeing through the illusion of a separate self
I think some reassurance was needed to the mind and hearing this was certainly helpful.

really should anything be different in any way from how it is now? Could it be?

I have to say No, any other answer will have ...

Hi Mark

I went through some of your comments in another post, and it helped me remind once again what is meant by first hand experience- sensations, feelings and faculty of thinking. My focus may have been more on contents of thoughts lately.

B. So now, looking at the issues raised in your last ...

Hi Mark

Responding to the technical points
A1. Point taken. It seems like I have tendency to easily slip from looking to thinking without realising the distinction, but I see what you mean when you point it out. I suppose I need to understand a bit better how to just 'look'. Will stick to your ...

Still digesting this last post Mark. I intend to reply in detail in 24 hours.
Many thanks and regards
Sandeep

Hi Mark
Many thanks for your kindness.
Let me consider the current action taken: watching tv with visiting family Vs checking out LU and writing a reply.
Factors and elements in play
- debate of thoughts
- what family is doing at this time
- past experiences of non-interest in tv
- mental clarity ...