thank you very much annie,
for your post! that felt good to read that for some people, it's not sudden, it just trickles in.
otherwise i realize that my last two posts where coming from a wanting to understand, the mind
trying to make sense. and this is not what we are doing here. a momentary ...

p.s.

i am just at 1:40 hrs of the interview, where elena says, that what happens to people when they have seen the illsuion of self, is, that they cannot run on motivation anymore, they can only do what they feel inspired to. or at least she points to a shift happening from motivation to ...

dear annie,

it's been silent and there has not been a draw to post,
up to now. i am just listening to the interview elena had with jerry katz (youtube)
and she mentioned two things, which popped out at me...

she said that once a person sees the illsuion of self, it's over, it's done, they don't ...

dear annie,
i'm looking...
heeps of appreciation and gratitude for your pointing and guidance,
with love,
liv

Experience IS, it happens - but is there a 'YOU' that it happens to? or is that just what a thought says?

it's a body that it happens to and experience is experienced through this body only.

maybe looking goes in cycles of intensity - but can you ever find any 'you' controlling that? Or any 'you' experiencing that, outside of a thought?

i cannot controle the looking because i do not force things. experience is personal. it is only mine, as it is no one elses.

good morning annie,

can you see how that is just a story? In the reality of the moment, was there simply a seeing of a notice of a PM, a body sensation of some sort, and then thoughts arising 'did i do something wrong' etc? Can you see how the story gets fabricated?

when such thoughts are ...

Hi Liv,

it's fine if you want to add these pm messages to the thread.

Interesting how the mind creates a story of a Liv who might do something wrong, who might not honour your guide etc etc - but can you see how that is just a story? In the reality of the moment, was there simply a seeing of a ...

dear annie,

thank you so much for your pm letter. i would love to add it into the thread, if you are ok with it, as it is just a wonderful expression of realization and reminder. it is strange, when i recieved this notice of a pm, my first emotional reaction was anxiety once again. "did i do ...

Hi Liv,

Welcome back! I had been away over the weekend and Monday so couldn't check emails, which is why I have been slow in responding to your email. Which is of course exactly perfect, just as is the timing of your email to me. Nothing can be any different to the way that it is, simply because it ...

hello annie,

i am back from my trip and reacclimatized, ready to continue with you in the thread. must say that there has been as good as no observing, no asking of the questions i wrote down from you. it felt like i needed a break from what feels like a heavy task. at the same time i also realize ...

hello annie,
thank you very much for your encouraging post!

It takes a lot of will power to actually do it and it seems effortsome. There is huge resistance around doing this,, like trying to dig a hole into water with my hands.


Yes, it feels there is resistance - and yet is there any 'you' who ...

dear annie, hello :))

want to give you a clue in as to where abouts i stand on my investigations.
i wrote all questions/pointers you posed down on paper. Mostly on walks
and before i turn the light off at night to go to sleep i have been posing them.
these questions are pointers to beyond thinking ...

dear annie,

wow, that gives me a sweet boatload of looking to do...:))
awesome, thank you so much! i'll keep trickling in the 'reports' on each of the pointers.
i might be skipping the "fear"-observation until i actually have a hands on encounter again.

<3 liv

good morning annie,

one more observation:
it also seems that when there is narrating going on, just like right now, that
i am speaking, narrating, that the words come from me, are chosen by me. this is the primary
sense, which invites me to look at this happening more closely.

:)