Yes, even though I understand it is probably not true, I believe that "I" inhabit this body and am in control of this body and mind. I do the thinking, feeling, eating, shitting, interacting, sleeping, judging, lusting, contemplating, fearing, etc. The self...my self...is that coagulation of various ...

Re: your first question: I (just can't shake that "I") feel I know what you are suggesting "conceptually" and probably a few times in my life I have had a brief direct experience of living, but very rarely and briefly. Hence my wanting more and I hope (again, all those "I"s) to again have that ...