Dear Swallow

Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.
The illusion of a separate self starts when we are learning language, we learn me/mine and you/yours, then we learn labels relating to me, such as girl/good/naughty/noisy and all their opposites ...

Dear Swallow
It feels like emptiness, maybe frayed ends here and there .... can we still stay in touch for a little while or is it time for another forum or something?
Tried explaining to a friend on the phone today, almost ready to talk about it, still have no idea how life will continue, but that ...

Dear Swallow

Yes of course it is thoughts of self still being winkled out and floating off! The i thought it was controlling everything, when it was only thoughts struggling with reality of daily life/memories/hopes.

Yesterday while driving towards home, feeling thirst, the thought was to get ...

PS Forgot to answer about being paralyzed ...what feels paralyzed? Without the driving I direction is still uncertain, things are happening, but mind wants to jump in and put the old point of view, when that quiets there is stillness, a bit stop start, a desire arises to do something then ...

Dear Swallow

Talking to the night sky about being no-self, explaining about being life, life being, expressing, seeing it like waves coming and going on the beach, life flowing and receding in each way of expression. At the same time feeling/seeing little plugs of self unplugging from the great ...

Dear Swallow

No quiet time for talking to nature until today ... will get back to you soon ... no more big problems ... have continued with investigations in small ways when possible between busyness and tiredness ...have begun realising deeper ramifications of being no-self ... who suffers from ...

Dear Swallow,
Thank you again for your attention to detail! Yesterday had to do something as a support to my husband, the I came up, "I dont want to do it" had a good chance to examine what it was, and think about the likes and dislikes question. Still working on that! The body and mind have their ...

Perfect Swallow, as testing, feeling, looking for Christine, emptiness is there ...tried looking at the story and found it is changing quickly "Child was born, was not who mother wanted, mother loved her desperately but due to frozen heart could not express that love", WHAT? mother loved her ...

Dear Swallow

I have been looking again at thoughts, trying to find the thinker although of course i expect there is none, and there is no problem, mind just gets bored instead of flipping out. Also finding an even calm everywhere, even where Christine usually gets a bit impatient. I look for ...

Dear Swallow

Observe how thoughts can create body sensations and how in turn body sensations can create thought. Have been practising this, with peaceful/pleasant thoughts and unpleasant thoughts and memories. Body feels peaceful or disturbed, but it is a bit removed from me, as if i am watching ...

Dear Swallow

Thank you so much for your thoughtful responses to my writings. Things seemed to get clearer this morning, it is trying to focus thoughts on question of who is thinking that is troublesome, but it is obvious mind is thinking, not me. Mind does not want to look at itself. When mind ...

hello swallow,

i saw some swallows today :) also stooped down to rescue a dragonfly from the edge of the surf and a wave snuck up on me and wet me, and i laughed and laughed, like me needing to be set free, and i had just been talking to the sea about my insights! i know it is happening :) but ...

Dear Swallow

Your response was so positive and encouraging that I feel sorry to get stuck now!

I have found no good answers yet, but have experienced some interesting thoughts and feelings. It might be just busyness but that is not all ... here are some notes i have made: "trying to watch thoughts ...

Dear Swallow

Where do thoughts come from? such a difficult question for me, observing, wondering ... it seems they usually come from the moment, the doing or seeing brings a thought ... but that thought might lead to another of its own accord ... no thinker ... but what about when i am puzzling ...

Dear Swallow

Thinking all day, What do you think will happen when you let the story end? and i guess nothing will happen, Christine will be alive, life flowing through her, but free of being trapped in the old view of self with all the guilt, recriminations and desire to do better. Who would ...