Hi Vince,

The background equanimity is becoming more of the foreground is one way of putting it. Very beautiful to see the natural state of peace.

In answer to your first question i don't really feel competent to point others in the right direction just yet. The experience it still dawning. My ...

Thanks Vince. It's great communicating with you. Really enjoying myself :)

I'll answer your question later today. I've got some work to be getting on with for now.
Will drop you a line later.

Enjoy the sleep.

Antony

To be clear. The 'no self' experience is only gleaming in moments of total cessation, where thought comes to an end. Then experience is utterly empty of an 'I' thought. There is just experiencing itself. The cessation is becoming more regular but the 'I' thought is the most common. As present as it ...

Antony, you can see it, yet you are still identified with it ?

No. It was the context in which i wrote. Sounded like i was still identifying. I was pointing out the fact that i observe this old belief arising. I see through it but it still comes up from time to time. And that's ok. No problem.

Can you see that these hopes, these expectations are a story that you are identified with ??

Oh, yes. I was describing the mechanism. I see through what it is.

Yes. I see this. This particular mechanism has been the sole 'seeking' activity in recent years. The belief that once these feelings are gotten rid of then i'll be free. It's been an intense activity in mind.
So i understand that this mechanism is a little more persistent or prevalent than others ...

Can you 'see' clearly how the identification with a fictional I/me character occurs ?
I can't 'see' how it happens, but i recognise it once it has happened. The seeing is that it was never real.
Even since yesterday has your experience been that you recognise thoughts and sensations as what they ...

Thanks Vince.
I went and met Rupert Spira on Wednesday (you may know of him). It was really helpful and good to be with him. I spoke to him about integration and he mentioned how the feeling experience takes many years to 'get' this.
Much more ease has come over in the last few days. Like you said ...

I really see what you are speaking of. This seeing of the illusion of a belief has been happening for sometime in this life. And the resultant ebbing away of them.
This was occurring before and after whatever took place on Monday. So i'm curious, what did happen on Monday?
I really don't know. I can ...

If i stop the pretence and remove all of the effort and emotion and the whole control story, if all of that goes, What is Left ?

Nothing is left. Just experiencing whatever is there in the moment.

Does trust come from experience ? Can trust be exercised without a belief that everything will be OK ?
I guess trust ultimately has to be exercised without the belief that everything will be ok. There's no way of knowing what will happen so i can stop kidding myself that i do know.
Irrespective of ...

Hi Vince,

I watched the video. Was really cool. Interesting to see science demonstrate that the sense of control is bogus. That the thought of self arises after making a decision or action is made. I understand that. Now to discover this as direct experience.

Hi Vince,

I've got some things to do now. I'll watch the video later today and get back to you in your morning.

Thanks,

Antony

It is trying to protect you from something Imagined. Something that might happen. Something that might happen if you see clearly ? Is that it ?
That's exactly it. I'm so terrified of seeing what it is. It's playing out in so many areas of my life and has done all my life. Perhaps i can go into ...

Hi Vince,

I am definitely feeling trapped in everything actually. This fear of death has really gripped me. I feel really protective of what has transpired. There most definitely is a sense of me here all the time. Yes i see the sense is a thought but this only occurs to me as another thought. It ...