No more ladders. Nothing is missing, no sense of seeking.

Thanks for sitting with me through this, I really appreciate it.

There is no separate person who is the seeker, so there is no separate person who is the guide either.

The same thing applies here. I can imagine a hierarchy where there is a guide at the top who has seen something, and a seeker below who needs to be guided there. But if the seeker is not actually ...

Let's look at the comparison and expectations. It's pretty much the same mechanism:

They had X experience → they know X → I don't have X → therefore they are above me.

This happens both with skills in the physical world and apparent spiritual capabilities.

X gets various names: self-realization ...

I was just thinking how much I rely on validation of others in work, in building a decentralized logging system. On developers, architects, people I consider higher up. As if I'm waiting for the permission of the higher-order people to tell me I'm ready, to confirm that it is doable, it is buildable ...

So, shall I present a round questions to uncover any remaining gaps?

Yes, please. I’d appreciate a final round of questions to uncover any remaining gaps.

What is daily life and interaction with others like now vs before seeing?

Much lighter, more relaxed. My life was mostly marked by isolation, fear of people, social anxiety, and self-doubt to the point of paralysis. I would go on entire odysseys just to send a message, trying to find the perfect ...

Nothing missing. No seeking left.

Some cries come up as thoughts though: "Where is the experience? It's all intellectual." Images of disciples "getting it" and having dramatic experiences, teachers describing their awakenings. Just thoughts: "this isn't it, and you know it, you're fooling yourself ...

Yes, stories are seen as stories now. There is no me producing thoughts
and emotions, it's the other way around, the interplay of thoughts,
emotions, and sensations creates a sense of me generating them.

The sense of self just re-forms wherever attention lands next: resistance,
then contraction ...

Hi Becca,

When the person comes back, the stories feel somewhat hollow -- I can see them as stories, but there's still getting pulled in, especially with unpleasant bodily sensations and fear.

Underneath the labels of anxiety and fear there's tightness and contraction in throat and gut mostly ...

Hi Becca,

We can use 'papillon'.
Thanks for doing this.

Is there still a final thread that feels present? How would you describe it or when does it appear?

There is still switching between two 'modes' -- from openness where living is incredibly light, unfragmented, without intermediary, then ...

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this? That the entire identity-psychological I- is an illusion. Due to strong beliefs, convictions, thoughts, emotions, attachments -- a contraction is created within the open space that causes us to ...