Sorry, reading back the post. Something was a bit garbled. I wrote.

When the choice was seeing saw a hand shoot out and grab a glass. There was no chooser anywhere. It just happened.

That should have been...

When the choice was made, 'seeing' saw a hand shoot out and grab a glass. There was no ...

Does a you need to be improved?

Lots of thoughts popping up like...

Well yes, I need to do more around the house, I need to have friends, I need a hobby, I need to be fit... and I am not.

Also, a recognisation that whatever is here without all thinking (when stopping and looking) is not ...

Hi Becca,

It's not a work day today 😁 wahoo.

But...

The really sticky bit is this thought:
"I should be in control but I am not."

There is a feeling of agitation around it. And so many more thoughts coming up.

I'll give you an example, I saw the box my kettlebell (exercise) came in. I felt a ...

Hi Becca, thank you for all the advice you sent, and for the advice you didn't end up sending too.


What ‘sticky things’ remain?

Expecting to take action and make decisions is still pretty sticky. Especially when I am at work. A big part of the work identity I think.

The 'shift' was noticing ...

Hi Becca,

Something seems different today.

Thoughts come up but I feel less need to chase them down or engage . Just like sounds appearing naturally, that happen and are heard without involvement.

Thoughts come, thoughts go. Only other thoughts hold them in place. When they go I am still here ...

Hi Becca,

Are these feelings or thoughts?

They are all thoughts.


How does dissatisfaction with life appear? You are seeing it! Expectations.
Comparing what is to some thought about something else that isn’t here .

Yes, I can see it happening.

I sat down and wrote down everything I could ...

Hi Becca,

See if the sequence is ever
1. a separate controller,
2. independently authoring a thought,
3. before the thought appears.

No, I can't find one if I look. And there are entire periods where it all flows and happens and those seem like the times when things are at their best.

I am ...

Hi Becca,

Here's the rest of the exercise results.

Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?
No. They appear by themselves without effort on my part.

It is quite interesting that some seem more deliberate or personal while others don't. Both just appear.

Is it ...

Just another random thought. But I am sharing this one.

I got into work today after doing the exercise on the train and sat down at the computer and a thought...

"I think for a living. It's my job. "

Am I doing any of this. How can I notice on one hand, I don't control thoughts, and I then come ...

Hi Becca,

I'm having a good look at this one. I will reply to each of the questions a bit at a time as I test them out.

Where are they coming from and going to?

I don't find anything. No source that I can see, or sense. And they fade into nothing.

Can you select from a range of thoughts to ...

Hi Becca,


... experientially the world does not arrive with an explanation attached.

I appreciate you saying this. It's quite a comfort to leave this as a mystery and not to have to answer it.


That irritation you feel, really examine it. Look at it, look behind it. What is it protecting ...

I read back on what you have said...

Now, now, now. What is here without the thought story.

What is behind 'annoyed'?

There's nothing but a sensation without the thought story.

Hi again Becca,

I am just sitting here listening to a storm and high winds and everything moving.

Again, it is happening without my help, without my doing, just coming and going, and it all doesnt care whether I know where it is coming from or going to.

I notice I am quite annoyed that I don't ...

Where is it experienced?

This is a sticky question for me. I keep thinking I am supposed to find something. If I keep looking I will find something that is experiencing all this.

Sounds are here. Appearing. In what I don't know.

I've done some direct looking before, and in direct experience I ...

Hi Becca,

Ah so is there a hearer??

On investigation, they just seem to appear. So no detectable hearer.


Do you experience a sound getting closer to your range of hearing before you actually hear it?

There is quiet sounds, louder sounds, Doppler shifted sound, that thought has learned and ...