This dissapointment and belief in dissapointing Tash and her dissapointing experience...

Could you let it go?
Would you let it go?
When?

Ask these questions *repeatedly* and just see what happens (as you know, no one to control that). Write me what is experienced.


Yes, I can let it go.... NOW ...

Hi Elad,

It was helpful to read what you sent.

Mind has been loud these days and believes that ''Tash is having this experience', and she will have to feel special or better or 'clearer' in order for the 'seeing' to be true. I can also sense heaviness in the belly (disappointment) as the words ...

Dear Elad,
Thank you for your reply.

It sounds to me like the core theme of LU has been seen through

I guess so. But everything feels very 'normal' here... nothing 'special' has happened.

what is happening now is a needed and natural focus on big things happening in your life and on the ...

Dear Elad,
I have just read your second message re not getting in touch.
Sincere apologies once again. I understand what you said. I commit to keeping in touch more frequently.

Many thanks,
Tash

Hi Elad,
Apologies for not replying sooner. I hadn't seen your message asking how everything was going and it hasn't felt like there were any changes worth reporting.

The video 'falling' by ilona landed well. Have just been resting here and observing. I have been listening to more of her youtube ...

Hi Elad,

What reactions come up to the sentence:

"The gateless gate has been crossed (by none), it is clear that there is no separate self responsible and controlling things and never was".

There is no gate to cross. There is no one to cross it. There is just this … which is a mystery and is ...

Hi Elad,
Body has been very tired and there has been some anger and frustration with contraction, especially in the legs.

Listen to the next enlightening quotes video (nr 2) same way and report what is seen/felt.

I see that there are expectations of this ‘awakening experience’ as being something ...

Hi Elad,

I observe that things are just happening, decisions get made, thoughts appear, movement happens. It’s a bit like ‘me’ or mind comes in afterwards and says ‘I’ have done it all. And as I write this I see that writing stops, I apparently stop to think about how to word the next phrase, what ...

Do you really believe this?

Where exactly is the Tash writing what is the real evidence she is writing or is in the centre of the head?

I don't think I believe it, no, but that's what it 'feels', especially when my eyes are open, taking in information and guiding me through space. But when I ...

Hi Elad,
Apologies for the delay. I had no Wi-Fi where I was staying so couldn’t use my iPad.

Identification appears to be loosening.

a) How so ?

b) And: Is there still a belief that there is a self ? If yes, how does this belief show up in direct experience here and now?

a) At times there was ...

Hi again.
The last message appeared. No need to send it again.
I will read it now
Thanks!

Hi Elad,
I can't find the last message I sent and your reply. I didn't receive the usual notification, so came on to check and then I caught a glimpse of a reply from you which started "sounds wholesome" , but now it seems to have disappeared.
I am on my phone, as I'm away, so it's not as easy to ...

Dear Elad,
Haven't written as been busy and travelling.

There was a day with what mind labels as 'sadness and fear': tears came, heaviness in the limbs, clenching in the solar plexus. It was allowed and felt. Labels came and went.

Identification appears to be loosening.

Observing the present ...

Hi Elad,


I noticed this morning that after repeating my mantra :) "there is no separate self in control, choosing and doing things" etc. I felt much lighter moving around my morning. There was a sense of urgency to go and buy a train ticket, to the airport in a couple of days, and a worry that I ...

Hi Elad,

Thank you for the notes. They are clear.

Is there a you anywhere that control what the next thought is? Or when it comes?

No. I can't find the me that controls thoughts or when they come; the thoughts appear to simply emerge, in an almost continuous stream, like the thought about these ...