Hello!
Sorry, I am dreading answering that pile of questions, since I am pretty sure it will be a miserable failure
So I am putting it off.
I mean, I know all the answers. Blah-blah, there are no borders, there is only this.
Digging in hard, again? There will be only dissatisfaction

Forgot to mention.
This seems to be about making a decision to take the leap.
I am bad with decisions. I don't get them. I don't get decision-making process.
I really don't feel great about that. It's like I malfunction in this regard.

Ha, we have posted at basically the same time...
Just letting you know I have now seen your post. I will react to it. Thanks

Rali, hello
I have just thought that, perhaps, the actual barrier could be... fear? Excitement? Pulling back? Shock? Flinching! Or maybe a recoil.
I kinda know where to go. But it's one heck of a leap. Nothing compares. To go into THIS??? To abandon self?
And yes, I know - there is no self in the ...

Rali, hello
Sorry for not writing. I am in an uncomfortable spot. I have many questions, things I want to share, discoveries. I inquire into things daily, looking for that which will click. I feel like I am pretty close, but that might me an illusion.
Most frustratingly, things work sometimes. I get ...

Oh, hi, Ra li!
Funny thing... there was no notification at all in my mail. I've checked. Weird, huh?
I came here to start slowly looking through your questions. I guess I have rested, to a degree.
Things are alright. I have re-watched Angelo's videos, and some others'. What used to be meant for ...

I mean, I literally have to overcome my desire to play a video game/whatever to spend some time looking and answering, because it's another work to do.
And knowing that I have this wonderfull guiding for free makes me feel like an ass.

Hello!
Thank you.
I might take a break, yes... I've been in situations like this before, I know I will rebound.

Which questions or areas bring up the strongest resistance?
General overwhelm from your pushing vs my inability to sustain looking or to activate looking, to answer many of your ...

Rali, hello. I am somewhat resistant to dig more. It's a bit too much, too confusing and too much doubt and too many inquiries to do, all the while I am just as stupid and in-selfed (tha'ts a word I have just coined) as always. I will skip today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Lm3G0_ ... ex=17&t=8s
Funny, but I have also thought that awareness must be a verb and definitely not a noun.
///
[mine] Thought requires awareness.
Does it? Or is that just a thought about awareness?
Just an empty idea.
///
Let’s check. Right now:
A thought ...

I see... thank you. For real.
Angelo is on it. He had a video called The awareness trap, where he explores the same thing. But I always thought that's too advanced, that's "deeper realization" and that I need to achieve the first awakening. I mean, that's how the teachings often go. I always wanted ...

Ain't you a peach!
If you fancy, I would be interested in you sharing thoughts on why is everyone pointing to awareness? I am not talking about those who talk being aware of awareness. I am talking about those who point to awareness.
Hell, you guys here at lu have article by dear Angelo "inquiry for ...

Who’s outside that needs to be sucked in?
Where is “out” and where is “in”(into)?
There is no outside... everything is already in. Thoughts and beliefs about "not being in" are already a part of this. "You need to stop believing thoughts" is in. "When will I wake up, ffs?" is in. Etc. I suppose it ...

Who is this “I” that accesses?
Well, damn... No one there to access or not to access, to want or not to want. There is, actually, quite a strong image of self there. I guess I must have grown accustomed to considering myself a seeker.
Or is there just what is (already happening), and then a ...

I forgot to include my notes from practice during work break
///
I can't find any such thingy as awareness... which is really weird. I feel gaslighted. Did they not tell me to find awareness? Did I not find it before? But I always knew that awareness is not a thing, even though they like talking ...