This is curious.

By ‘feels’ is it in the body or in thought?
Which is speaking?
The sensation is one with a fear label (silent thought of something bad would happen) and also sadness or shame (this is for thought of that’s selfish)

is there an actual danger present right now?
No. The thought ...

Lovely.

Is there an urgency that there is something to find? Still a sense of seeking? or has that faded?


Hi Becca!

Sorry delayed response. Been visiting family, got sick, had a small surgery. I did the full looking sequence again, and it’s a little easier this time, still fear but less and ...

Is there a sense of time in the still going? Is it fresh looking?


Every time I do it, it feels like seeing through again, with fear coming up with it, but a little clearer each time. So there’s an idea that if I keep coming back to it, it gets clearer and it’ll penetrate more, so there’s an ...

Still going!

just updating that I’m coming back to do these a few times because fear releasing, but then labels stick back and then loosen again next time I do it. Will report back!

Been turning to sense of love more, the one that seems to be here when i look for it.

Can you say more about this? What is the direct experience?
It seems to be when i look for safety and love, then I can feel it. So a thought about safety and love is always here happens, and then a feeling of ...

Hi Becca,
Been looking at this andlots of fear continuing to come up. Harder to make sense of things.
You’re trying to reconcile two things here:
no one in control
yet desires still pull behavior (snacks, avoiding bed)
So look directly, not conceptually....

With the snack, before the hand moves ...

Does it need to be either/or? Could it be a number of things?
Guess it doesn’t matter what it is.. it’s just sensations and if don’t mind it either way or make it into anything, then.. it doesn’t block anything

Is there anyone responsible for ‘staying with this’? Anyone who could be, as you say ...

Saw this late and ran out of time to do it before a trip but will keep it in mind in next few days and be back Monday!

Great. Keep looking directly each time it appears, even if it feels like whack a mole :)
Okay! Feels a little easier to find the self label, and fear comes up as soon as attention is placed on the body looking for the self. It likes to go to just a few areas, whole body, head (thinker or watcher ...

I know there is this thought idea of stuckness, but there is a lot seen here and a lot unraveling.
This was encouraging to hear, thanks. It does seem like things are shifting, but I can’t tell exactly what it is. There’s been a few times where it felt like something was seen, and there was some ...

Are any of these sensations you describe a problem?

… not any of the stories about them, just the sensations

The stories say they’re a problem. But still bought into them so still uncomfortable. “I can’t just leave them be. I can’t be happy if they’re here.” But also won’t let go of the ...

Hi Becca!

Very good. Keep looking then. :)

Been looking but it’s still here. Will continue looking

Now drill down on sadness, where is it? what is it without the label ‘sadness’? Describe the pure sensation.

Feels like an ache deep in the middle of the chest, feeling sadness has felt better ...

Is there any decision, or 'choice', that is not like this?
Oh right, no, it’s all like this..

Is it clear there is no doer, or just that you can't find the doer (who could still exist)?
I don’t believe there’s a doer anymore logically but in heedlessness through the day, i still believe I’m ...

How does this work, to let them go? Is it a decision of some kind or just something that happens as the sensations move and resolve on their own?
It feels like a decision, to loosen the tension, but if i look, that decision and thoughts leading to it happened on their own

Is this vividness and ...