Stacy, hi


Just let me know when you're ready to accept that you've had a shift in perception.

And can say "yes" without any "but."

Thanks.

My best friend/brother who's recently been through surgery and chemo learned today that the cancer is still active, and I found myself devastated.

I ...

Stacy, hi,
You know, grokking there is no self is a pretty good way to say what we're looking for.

Another grok:
Earlier I'd written how I confuse sensations with thoughts of "I" unless "I'm really paying attention".
Today I reasd about Chandi in the Gateless Gate who wrote, "I have to focus to ...

Stacy, hi,

Lie feelings (contraction) or truth feelings (expansion)?

The sensations/tensions that arise with thoughts of "I" are subtle, almost unconscious unless I'm really paying attention.
But they provide a kind of background "I" sense to go with "I" thoughts. . .
And tensions with trying ...

Stacy hi,
Yeah, how do i get fooled?

Can you say 100% there's is no separate "self? "
Yes.
But often this seems like more of a belief than an absolute knowing.

What is keeping you stuck?

I honestly don't know!
A notion that there's an "I" at the core of any knowing? Forgetting and falling ...

Stacy, hi,
What does it FEEL like to see there is no "self?"

Too much going on today, not enough sleep, ...too much talking . . . feeling blank/tired . . .
Yesterday it felt more like seeing there is no "self", today more like believing it

The seeing felt light, kind of exhilerating, sometimes a ...

Stacy, hi . . .

When you saw that Santa Claus was just a man in a red suit did you have to "get better at remembering?"

I read this and laughed. And no . . . I did not have to "get better at remembering!'

Or was it obvious from then on? You knew.

Yes, I absolutely knew. (Losing the Easter ...

Stacy, hi

Did you do "Where is 'I'" from the DropBox?

Appreciated "where" is I, as opposed to "who" . .
coming up with NO where. . .
There were sensations in face and a sense of weight, associated with "I' am here . . .
And Intensity in the upper body, jaw, with"trying" to find the where of ...

Stacy, hi,
You're not going to vanish in a puff of smoke. There will still be what I like to call "awareness" and some people call "consciousness" although both are a little bit challenging to define.
Good to know.

Sitting in the morning,
Working with butt/chair . . checking for I. . . noticing ...

Stacy, hi. . .
Yes, just look ("and check").
Have been letting distractions interfere with desire, looking.
Found myself pausing more today in the middle of internet scrolling,busy-ness, etc, to "look and check"

It's ever clearer that Direct Experiences are all there is.
That thoughts are ...

Stacy, hi,

YOu need only relax and see what's already true . . . .
Realizing I keep trying to "prove" to myself that there is no self.
Recognizing that I don't need to.
Much easier to just allow it . . . .

Taking a new tack . . . . reminding "myelf" that there is no self . . . . .
Somehow this ...

Stacy, hi,
Pretty sick the last 3 days, luckily not covid . . . on the mend . .

Right. No "I" anywhere. LOOK & see no "I."

Seems like the "I" is reinforced in conversations.. . .
and also with "should's" & "have to's", likes & dislikes . . .
Sometimes catch the latter groups, but totally ...

Stacy, hi,

Can you have this imaginary "I" without any thought of "I?"

It's not clear . . . the felt sense might have no words of "I" . .. but somehow "feels" like "I" . . .
It's a familiar sense of "I" . . . the "familiarity" is actually a thought?
With close examination, it's clear there's no ...

Stacy, hi,
as Sunryu Suzuki said "Enlightenment is an accident. Meditation makes us accident prone."
Practicing to become accident prone ...
Butt-chair...thought pictures, but no dividing line, no butt. ...
And the sense of "I" is just that . . . a felt sense . . . sensations in the face, jaw ...

Stacy, hi..
Thought I posted a reply last night, but don't see it.
(Perhaps pressed preview instead of submit?)
Basically, am just keeping at it --
Intend to do so today as well,
appreciate the daily check-ins . .. sorry I messed up.
thanks, e

Stacy, hi,
"So, like Santa, can you say 100% there's no self, even when there seems to be? You know better?

Logically, absolutely!

Today worked with butt/chair, no body and veered into working with no "I" . . .

To really sense this "no I"seems to take special conditions . . . . sitting quietly ...