Yes! I get this. Thoughts built upon thoughts, never findable in DE.

In the past 6 days since this was seen more, there was a period where the mind was relatively quiet and everything felt simple and immediate (when I last wrote) and then a barrage of thoughts piled in and looked very true. It was ...

And what is that, exactly?

I have no idea. Or, I have a lot of ideas but that's all they are. I can't answer this without thought. I don't know why "liberation" has been such a tough idea to let go of but it has. Liberation is nothing but a thought that changes definitions every time it is arises ...

A good way for what? How do we evaluate "good"? What are you trying to achieve by continuing this? Why do you even practise at all?

For liberation. That's what I'm here for. I've spend my entire life building a nice life and it literally has everything I could ever want.
I want to know for sure ...

Hi Tyler,

Can we still communicate here?

I'm curious your thoughts on my "practice":


I guess my main exploration is letting attention drop into the senses -- physical sensation, seeing, hearing. Noticing thought when it arises, especially the I thought, and looking for the I it refers to ...

You still have useful practices that I hope you do somewhat consistently like "What's not a thought?" I wonder what kind of thoughts you're having now though. What are you trying to figure out now?

I am doing these regularly. I don't think I'm trying to figure anything out. I guess my main ...

Well, I guess I just mean "where to go" in terms of the exploration we're doing together.

There is nowhere to go apart from here. Can you say more about that?

So essentially... you're skeptical about dropping the search because you're afraid that you won't feel better if you drop the search?

Yes. I hadn't seen it that way but that feels like what's going on, yes.


Doesn't it seem like the harder you search, the more frustrated you feel, and the more ...

What would lightness and freedom look like?
I don't know. I have to make something up to answer that.


Are you not free? If not, what are you not free from? What feels heavy?

I am free AND literally everywhere I look, including this forum and the books written about it, there is talk that ...

I'm seeing that all of this confusion and frustration is simply a flow of thoughts too. There is no "me" behind or at cause in any of that. It's not arising "because I don't see there is no me". It's just what is.

And maybe it doesn't mean anything about a belief in a separate self? I'm not so ...

Is that reasonable? Isn't it accurate to say that when it's known that there is no me, much of the defending and protecting of me will stop?
Well, don't you already see in experience that there is no self?

Yes, I do see this in experience. Just thought about a self.

So there are just bodies ...

I'm not sure what's causing suffering now, no. It all seems to revolve around "me" though, needing to secure something, be enough, defend myself. The sense of me that seems to be at the center of all suffering is why I'm here rather than off doing other things to ease the suffering.

Is that ...

Truth.

An end to, or at least less, suffering.

Maybe, thanks. Writing tends to me a little easier for me in the way it helps me to go away and really look and then report back.

Could you help me look at this sense of "me"?

I know there is no me. And experience is still largely filtered through that perspective for sure. I'm not sure where to ...

I have been doing this exercise with the sky and other things as well.

Often, things go sort of flat. What was the sky or the tree or whatever is just a patch of color. No depth, not "over there", just flat.

When that happens, there is a sense of every "thing" (including "me") disappearing in a ...

Thank you, Tyler.

I want to do the staring at "my face" exercise more. I did it a little bit and it feels very powerful. Very cool when identification with that image begins to drop.

And I really love the other one, feeling sensation with eyes closed. I've actually been doing that every morning ...