Nothing new, same as usual. Unfortunately I won't be able to make the time, GMT is 7 hours ahead of me and I'll be getting the only 4-5 hours of sleep I get every day right now, at that time. I have to sleep during the day after the kids go to school.

No elephant was found, of course. But I'm a little confused by the instruction to look for the self in the same way, because clearly I can look around the room for an elephant and find nothing. I will do it but you're right, it'll feel silly. I guess that's fine though. LOL

Yeah, the more I try to feel into the fear the more I realize that it's based on fear of judgment and being "wrong." There's disappointment sure, but it's a desire not to feel embarrassed mixed with a desire to be right, to have finally "gotten" it. *Sigh* This is a frustrating process. I don't ...

Today everything still feels like conceptual understanding, not "knowledge" although something was definitely felt last night. Maybe a glimpse at what is actually happening here. Sometimes it feels like there is "progress" and then there's the realization soon after that no, the "I" is still there ...

Feels like I should add, no big lightning strikes or profound blissful experience or anything. There is a sense of being what is happening, rather than being a "person" being swept along in something and clawing for control. Everything that is experienced, felt, and thought here is what I am. There ...

It seems as if consciousness, or the actual "I" that exists, has created this interaction and kicked all of these things off, and is creating this whole sequence of events in this process called "Awakening". It's weird that the feeling of being a person swept up in a process called awakening is ...

I'm now reminded of the exercises in the senses and the question of whether those things exist inside or outside. If everything exists "inside" (which it must, because outside of what?) then EVERYTHING is actually me and so there is nothing else to be found, when looking for a "me." My awareness or ...

Listening to someone talk about Awakening today, they made a comment that stuck with me. They said it's like an eyeball searching for itself, and I realized that a self can't find itself. It will find everything other than itself. So as I'm letting that sink in, it's apparent why no matter where I ...

Some after-thoughts as I have continued with my eyes closed, trying to feel this question and answer. When the questions or statements including "I" are thought, the "I" being referred to is a collection as it relates to whatever the thought is. Like for instance, "I need to figure out how to pay ...

Thanks for the insights, from both of you. My wife and I thought it could be Kundalini after doing some reading, but it doesn't behave the way everyone always describes Kundalini (coming up from the base of the spine, etc...) so I wasn't sure. Up until all of this, I have ZERO experience with ...

I also had an observation that many times, when I (whoever is doing the inquiry) am paying attention to the space where thoughts arise and waiting for them, they oftentimes refuse to come. There will be something like a "mental jumble" of unclear stuff, hard to describe but if it were sound it would ...

"...every day I spend long stretches inquiring into what is behind the thoughts of a "me" or the reactions/beliefs that seem to stem from a "me."

How are you doing that exactly?

I think you could refine the questions - ask instead IS there a ME.
Is there a me behind the thought of a Me?
Is there ...

Am I too tough a nut to crack? The long delays in guidance have made it hard to keep up the focus, every day I spend long stretches inquiring into what is behind the thoughts of a "me" or the reactions/beliefs that seem to stem from a "me." Always coming up empty, knowing there is nothing there and ...

Man, I really feel your frustration here.
I hope you can find some time to relax a bit.
It will help a lot with the inquiry, and 'looking'.

I took a bit of a break to just not ponder any of this, hoping to come back it with a fresher outlook. Our financial stresses and work schedules have made it ...

I have such a hard time with differentiating "looking" from "thinking" in this process. The closest I think I've come is when I had those moments of sensory awareness while forgetting the existence of a body. No thought in that, just feeling. But in these questions or process of searching for a ...