I did get the PM, and thanks again for all your help Tyler, really appreciate the calls & the support :)

Hm, so what is a thought? Are thoughts separate/different from the senses?

thoughts are just another sense impression, mind-sounds and mind-pictures, there's no separation between any of it

Could you say more about what you experienced when the compulsive thoughts stalled out, and the obvious ...

Ok then!

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?


There's no separate self anywhere, and there never was one in the first place, just a bunch of thoughts

2) Describe how the illusion of an independent, self came into being by ...

not the greatest i'm afraid. after the call i was just chilling and enjoying that taste of open intimate awareness that was waving in an out and giving it the opportunity to stabilise and right after we hung up the doubt thoughts started to kick into high gear and i guess i must have bought in ...

Can't find the observer sense in any particular place but not finding it hasn't seemed to open anything up yet. Continuing to notice automatic things happening a lot, most bodily tasks fall into this, noticing after the fact that it all the doing carried on just fine while i was thinking about ...

Right now: no, no, no idea, pancakes. No doubts to speak of at this moment, i'm not doing anything in order to get something, not making predictions or attaching to outcomes, not fixating on the future so there's just no speculations to be in doubt about in the first place. Needs too, plenty of ...

Spending an hour or two doing nothing every day, some longer periods and short bursts here and there pausing and doing nothing where i'd usually kill a couple of minutes on my phone waiting for something. and it's fine, largely it's totally fine. always some resistance thoughts about starting it but ...

Doing a bunch of nothing and it's fine. Sometimes the mind is busy, sometimes super sleepy and drowsy. Sick and quite tired at the moment so thats not unexpected. Overall its surprisingly tolerable. Sometimes an urge to get up or check how long ive been here or plan the next activity or fantasize ...

A number of reasons i guess. First and foremost theres a kind of felt obligation, i've committed to signing up here and working this process and trying the things you've suggested sincerely, staying consistently engaged with it and sitting is just how that happens for me. If i don't specifically ...

I was thinking it just hasn't put in an appearance the last few sessions, but sat this morning and this afternoon with this in mind specifically and i think i caught what's happening. there's the beginning of physical tightening/resistance in the upper chest which moves together like it's about to ...

Keepin on keepin on, nothing significant changing with inquiry right now sitting with it a couple of times a day, but i'm noticing i have less attachment to opinions specifically and less reactivity overall which is nice. randomly remembering 'who is experiencing this', popping into my head while i ...

Been feeling some more intense reactions the last couple of times, the fear sensations are coming up again and when i feel into them it gets more severe. my chest started feeling tight and constrained and then suddenly im gasping for breath out of nowhere. not sure if it's something physical like i ...

Been sitting with this, is the gap here the gap between the passing of one thought and the arising of the next (even the noticing thought)? When I'm looking, it's like an intention to feel into the senses to the maximum extent possible, reaching out into them, this collection of sensations that is ...

thoughts on attending the meetup - first, terrifying. i have social anxiety at the best of times, double with strangers. it was a big leap out of my comfort zone to do it so that's a fear felt and faced. lots of thoughts of said something stupid talked too much shouldnt have come. recognised those ...

Mostly more emotions today, the same situation and themes keep replaying but going a bit deeper this time. There's more than just fear and anger and sadness here. Darker things, hatred, bitterness, grief and loss and trauma. A desire to punish, to return cruelty and abuse dealt to me in kind. Not ...