Great.

it still feels really bad, and i can’t really tell what the emotion is, it just feels like resistance to the energy moving. The energy moving through my body in bigger waves hit up against the thought that says hey that’s not supposed to do that because that’s my body that’s supposed to ...

that quality is a warmth. (some other day I might have called it "Body"). Relaxation. a rigidity. (that which feels rigid is chatty and can be listened to)

it protests a lot, talks and describes who I am, what I am doing, how I feel. What I want and don't want
("I want to see through this rigidity ...

Let's try a slightly different angle.

Can you find a thinker separate from the thought itself?

When I ask who is distressed, there is a silence, it seems I bread deeply and less pressure in the chest...


You noticed something important, but let's be precise. The silence and the release of pressure are not proof that you have seen through the self. Nor does your confusion prove that you ...

Who grieves being special? Does griever=grieved? And following that all the way down is it simply a sensation + ‘I’ story added afterward?

it's getting quiet here (in a way) asking this.
not much to write beyond that.

Good.
So are you the thinker of thoughts?


There's a thought about a moment ...

I guess that I can tell that there're no self. But I don't really feel it

What did/do you imagine when you say you will ‘feel’ no self?


All these questions, and other, comes right after I "think" I have seen the truth, and they all are very egoic

Are you in control of or responsible for all ...

Lovely.

So my question is:
Can the illusion of ‘I’ ever not be an illusion again when looking?
If not then there are some questions I can use to explore if there are any gaps in seeing through self.

And that would place the other things you describe with elections and organization into exploring ...

So doubt/resistance is a lie in the body (tension)?

Is intense energy a confrontation? Are there other ways to describe it?


that (seeking) is felt around the chest, the neck, jaw, lips.

How are these sensations known to be seeking?
Following just the sensations without the story, where do they ...

Very good.

It's really quite a bodily confrontation, seeing it as thought.

What happens in the body when doubt appears?

Does doubter have a supposed location just as ‘producer’ seemed to?

No thought, no owner, no doubter?

And if doubt is seen to be just another thought, what then?

Can you find the producer of it?

And the immediate thought that it's "me" kicks in. And the point here that maybe I'm a bit confused is, in order to see the truth, this conditioned thought of "it's me doing" has to be questioned, challenged. It's not me doing, but it needs to happen

I think it has been fruitful, this looking ...

❤️

Does doubt come in every thought? Or is it a thought B?

Are you in control of attention?

When you were with your family, was the sense of “me” actually a separate entity that took control of attention? Or were there thoughts, sensations, reactions, and activities happening, followed by the thought that someone called “me” was doing them?


Apart from ...

Hello Daniel,

Nice to hear from you and am glad things are going so well. Once the self illusion is seen through seeking fades away to what I would call exploration, it is less intense and more curious.

I still sometimes operate from "that's good / that's bad" (eg. healthy, wholesome, productive ...

it feels like there's a mechanism running here, that allows thoughts to not be heard, but stored in "the body" (whatever that is), in hopes of them not "taking effect" that way. (whatever that is).

Look more at this, can you say more about what the direct experience of ‘in the body’ is? What ...