Hi Elad,

Apologies, I took a long while in getting back to you to see if things might change. I think that for the time being this is a bit lost to me. Firstly I think that I have a lot of stress and strain in my life at the moment that is clouding my judgment, but secondly I think that I have seen ...

Hi Elad,
Sorry for the delayed response. I haven't abandoned this at all, I have just really been trying to dwell with it because sometimes it does just seem to drift away from me and I am back in all that old ego stuff.
I don't really know where to go with this next but I am trying to examine what ...

Hi Elad,

I did bear in mind what you said in your last post but I found that these questions were just making me intellectualise again so I did try to just look and, yes, when just experiencing I can see that there are the product of my senses and there are thoughts and that's all there is - just ...

And also, if I really look I can only find the presence of this witness. This suggests to me sometimes that this is a singularity. This can lead into that circular thing of 'all I can find is witnessing so it feels like I am the witness'.

Hi Elad,

I believe that I can feel that there is no separate controller - if I think an anxious thought it's not because something I've done has caused it. If that was the case I could choose not to be anxious. It's just a thought that I'm judging to be an anxious thing. I can see that a thought ...

Just to clarify, I know that I am significant to my loved ones and that my behavior towards others can be significant.
I just meant that I no longer see myself as the center of something and that I'm much more away that my needs and my desires can be based in falsehood and the needs and desires and ...

I just wanted to make it clear I'm not trying to do therapy on myself with this it's just that when I'm in a happy go lucky state, that's when I'm closest to feeling no self.

1) Is the sense of the self there most of the time? Is it ever not there? How real does it seem to you?

No, the sense of self is not there all the time. it is rarely there when I am engrosed in something creative or when I am resting after some kind of action.
It is often not there if I search for ...

Hi Elad,
Sorry for the delay, I've had the most shocking run of migraines
things are a bit less bleak now though so I will dwell with these questions for a while
Lucy

) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

ANSWER:
It often feels to me on a day-to-day basis that there is a self but if I really examine and observe I can only find experience and everything else is mystery. I can find no past nor ...

Hi Elad,
can I just ask, do many people get their initial shift through using mind altering substances? Did you? Please don't think this is a judgmental question it's purely based in curiosity.
I should state that I do absolutely feel that there is no agency in life. I can happily do this job or ...

Hi Elad, sorry for the delay but I have really been dwelling with it. I think your last question really highlights my issue. I really can find no self and in particular no agency whatsoever but on a day-to-day basis I can also still find all my old neuroses and my personality and my habitual ...

No I do mean that I can see that there is no agency. What I used to see as thinking a lot and making decisions I now see as there are thoughts and then there is action. I don't see a connection between these things I think the thoughts could be dispensed with.
Life is happening and I have awareness ...

Hi Elad,
It's good to have the opportunity to talk to you again.
I looked at some of Vince's videos but found there were a lot of people talking about how they felt and this is what made me withdraw from this process for a while, that sense that I was dealing with my own feelings rather than what ...

Thanks Elad,
I do very much appreciate your kindness and understanding.