Just wanted to say thanks again Henri. You put a lot of effort forth for a stranger from across the world and have been a major guide and milestone on my return to the path (which, as it turns out, I was never too far from in the first place). I really valued our exchanges and am feeling a ton of ...

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No, never was, never will be.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now ...

Yup, well said.

EMDR might help shake loose what's going on there.

Also might be helpful to shift your perspective on awakening: See first awakening as not a on/off thing, but a gradual process. Some that wake up have a lot of trouble with doubt and thinking after first awakening. Some deal with ...

Morning Henri!

It can be treacherous to listen to others, because it's unclear if they're still in the honeymoon period of first awakening, or if they've moved to deeper realization, such as emotional work, or non-dual / perceptual shifts, all of which tends to lead to trauma/emotional material ...

Hi Henri - here's what I've got:

First part:

I have read a lot about how awakening reduces the suffering one experiences in their daily life. A lot of enticing descriptions are used for things I interpret as "states", like flow, unbounded, freedom, ease, clarity, and I want to be able to ...

Hi Henri,

With your descriptions, I think I am open to exploring what is "next". I don't feel "done", but I think I could answer the closing questions.

it is definitely difficult to accept that the way this process is is "okay" for me, for a number of reasons. If exploring that creation of mind ...

So when you go about your day and you get caught up in anxiety, maybe after the fact, is it obvious to you that there is no inherent self having anxiety or controlling any of it?

The illusion of self may well pop up many times as old conditioning comes up, but there is freedom there, because you ...

Has there been any kind of shift in regard to seeing there's no separate self? It could've even happened before our conversation.

Silly question, but how would I know? I've touched into some self-less spaces in prior meditative work, but that was a few years ago and then I rolled up the mat. Is ...

Morning Henri!

It's been an interesting last few days of practice. In some ways, I don't really know what to do with myself. I'm still working on concentration and gathering the mind while sitting but I'm not sure what direction to look with inquiry.

The confusion leads to doubt which leads to ...

Sounds good. I'll be back in a few days with an update. Thanks for all the help and time.

reposting to fix quotes.

And so when space is referred to, what is found there? Is it just an image? Or a smattering of sensations? Something else?

Right now, in direct experience, it feels like space is the sensations in and around my body in combination a thought that imagines future movement ...

And so when space is referred to, what is found there? Is it just an image? Or a smattering of sensations? Something else?

Right now, in direct experience, it feels like space is the sensations in and around my body in combination a thought that imagines future movement, or imagines that movement ...

Exactly. Take a look at space itself, what is it without the label space?

Also, how is everyday life? Have you noticed any shifts or changes when it comes to being a 'separate self'?


I can't find a direct experience of space. I can't see it, I can't feel it, and any pointer I can find to it is ...

Precisely!

It sounds like something has shifted for you. It can sometimes sneak up on you, and then one day you look and it doesn't make sense anymore.

So when you look now, is there someone deciding what to write? Do you find a decider?

And this sense of taking up space, what is it without a ...

Morning Henri.

I am about halfway through the meditations you shared. I found value in the meditation where you are the receiver, look for the thing receiving everything. And I keep working on the one where you look at a thought, look where it arose from, and look beyond where it arose from. The ...