something's definitely changing. things that would of bothered me before don't anymore, they seem to slip right through. But i still feel a self that cares about self image and perso
nality is evident. still there is an airy sense ofnothing matters also. ill try to look through self image and see ...

Today, feelings surface and I keep questioning who are they happening to? No answer, just nothing, and relaxation, the thought is real, like you said, (that statement for some reason helped me - I always assumed thought wasn't real) but there is not real entity behind it, just a memory and that ...

Okay, I've been pondering what's real and looking for self. I have a friend who is ignoring me, which is triggering a lot of fear thoughts, causing the body to contract hard, feels violent, but it's a great place for me to ask who is the self who seems to be feeling these feelings, I asked the ...

I am going to keep looking inward for the me... I know it's too quick to respond and I need to take some more time with this, but first I don't know what to do with the memories that seem to make up the me, things that happened that cause me to act the way I do today and make up my personality... I ...

and so my mind thinks the unicorn exists because I'm thinking so hard about it, but it of course doesn't exist. And that's the same with the me...

Okay, I read what you wrote again, especially about the unicorn, and I understood better this time, what you were guiding me to see...

The Unicorn seems to exist when I think about it, I can see it, imagine it clearly and so it's the same with the 'me' if i release the thought of a me with all its ...

I think you misunderstood, by hopeless I meant that I can realize that trying to solve all my thoughts is futile it's just the body responding to stimuli, I've had this feeling deeply before, for a split second, in the presence of an awakened friend, I felt a part of the vibration that I always feel ...

Okay, so I see that the me is a hopeless case, it's always going to think it is whatever is happening in the moment and there's no solving that ever, it's an endless array of stuff, the I is the surrounding, the everything that comes up, because it's not limited and it sees everything,

is it a ...

Let's see... so the body reacts, the stomach gurgles, the chest contracts, a tickling in the wrist causes the other hand to move up to scratch it, it's the knowing of these sensations that feels like an I, I'm aware of what's happening and the knowing of these sensations is always located with this ...

The body functions just happen on their own, but the I receives it's signals

Okay, Deal!

I know this seems like a quick answer.. but truth is I have nothing right now already. I've already made this commitment. I'm ready. This is from the heart many times, I've given up things already because I knew they were just deviations from what I really want, which is a shift, one that lasts this ...

Over the years I've paused on the search, been distracted by appeasing my ego, but I always come back... the last few years I've been getting slowly deeper and deeper, into uncovering this paradox of "who am I really" I've actively sought teachers, including Pamela Wilson, and sat in satsang and ...

Trying to be as authentic as possible has been the theme of my life, and following that cookie crumb trail led me to here, wanting to know the absolute truth. That, and the fact that I suffer from turbulent emotions, have all my life, and it's not that I want to escape, because I really desire to be ...

Oh, I didn't know you had responded to my post, sorry me long, thanks for responding. When I say I, I'm still stuck in the little me, only when I think of emotions and contractions in my body as being something out of my control, that's when I am close to identifying with a different I (don't know ...