Hi Bananafish,

Thank you so much for your patience and wonderful work!
Your direct approach has proven most effective in penetrating through some (quite annoying, I'm sure) defense mechanisms.
Like I have mentioned before this was a once in a life time opportunity for me. Truly appreciated.

Warm ...

Hi Bananafish,


1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?


As far as I can tel, No. There is not and there was never one.


2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your ...

Hi Bananafish,


Please keep reporting anything you feel like reporting.


Not much to report today.
Still more irritated than usual, but nothing like yesterday.
Caught myself once or twice about to use observation as means to avoid confronting something.
But once seeing it, "I allowed" the ...

Hi Bananafish,


This "no-self" thing starts to be used to suppress the feelings that awaits for
being felt.


Well, I would say that there was no suppressing today.
I was much more annoyed, edgy, disoriented, tired, frustrated, nervous etc, that anything I can remember in years.
But thank you ...

Hi Bananafish,

Today, I kept with the instructions of: Why don't you try "stopping putting energy/attention into it"?

Very interesting.
Doing so, deprived me from my main excuse for escaping the confrontation with the unknown.
I saw that what happened was that an uncomfortable feeling arise ...

Sorry, I forgot the part about how does it feel to do so?

On the experiential level, it does not interfere with the good feeling about the way things are going in the last few days.
At the moment these doubts are just visitors that don't stay enough to cause any issues.

Thank you very much ...

Hi Bananfish,

warning: a wall of words : - )
I apologize for the length of this post.

What makes you doubt this, and how does it feel to do so?


Before you read on, please note that the following does not reflect of my current view and experience.
It's on the level of thought, not so much of ...

Hi Bananafish,



Could you write more about that fear, so that we could inquire into it?



Today I was not bothered about this (or any) fear.
All went well. Things were flowing and when there was a need, there was seeing or remembering and back to flow.
I spent no more than 5 minutes doing ...

Hi Bananafish,

Maybe it is not that much of a big deal, but I prefer not to leave open ends whenever possible.


what makes you think that you have to be "seeing the non-actuality of the self" all the time?



I don't think I have to see it all the time.
But, the experience yesterday, was of ...

Hi Bananfish,

Do you have anything you want to further inquire,
or would you like to proceed to a set of final questions to be asked
at the end of the inquiry?

Today was very frustrating,
There was a feeling of "loosing" yesterday's clarity.
There was a sense of "lack" but no "fire" to push to ...

Hi Bananafish,

Thank you so much for this help!!
It is a once in a life time opportunity.
And I truly appreciate it.

Sorry for the long post, but I felt that in this specific case it is important to express as much as possible of what is happening so you can use your experience to help me relate ...

Hi Bananafish,

Any noticeable changes from when we started the dialogue here?

In general, until yesterday, noticeable changes were the dropping of different things that seemed important, like opinions or the effort to understand, in favor of neutral looking (but not necessarily seeing) at what ...

Hi Bananafish,

Is self felt to be a concrete "thing" separate from everything else?
Please tell me how it is felt to be.

separated - no.
concrete -no.
looking at it right now, it is felt to be nothing but memories, images, thoughts about "me" etc.

Thank you very much!!
Riverwind

Hi Bananafish,


If you were to give that "self" another name, other than "life," what would be
an appropriate name?


I had a few options that came in mind:
examples:
Awareness - could be appropriate but I have too many old connotations attached to it.
Emptiness - perhaps conveys best the feeling ...

Hi Bananafish,

Now, please tell how "self" is felt to be.

"self" is felt to be real, to exist.
Not as a separated entity though. 
Just life doing its thing. (in this case, thoughts, action, reactions, sensations, etc.).

Thank you very much!
Riverwind