Hi Vivien, here are my answers to these interesting questions:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?
No, a separate self cannot be found in actual experience. If it were there in any way, it would be directly experienced, but ...

[/quote]The more you look, the greater the chance that it comes naturally. But it’s important to emphasize that seeing through the self is NOT about getting into ANY state. Rather it’s a recognition that there is nothing doing and having life. That there is nothing behind the word ‘I’. And upon ...

Hi Vivian, thanks for your reply.

These were not the final questions
Ah, great! :)


Your answers seem very clear, and yet you say that there were only a few moments of clarity. But in your other comments you say that you can see this clearly whenever you look.
Ah, yes there are many small ...

Hi Vivian. Thank you, your guiding is par excellence. Are we coming near the end of our conversation already?

Has it been seen that there has never been an ‘I’ that could control or own life or anything?

Yes, have been a few moments of clarity where the whole story and of me-the-controller is ...

Hi Vivien,

If objects and the knowing of objects cannot be separated since these are not two, but rather one seamless experience, then how could a separate awareness or knowing be there without objects in deep sleep?
Ah, it wouldn’t be possible.


since awareness + objects as separate things ...

This statement implies that there are no objects (thought, sensation, etc = experience) there is only the subject the knower, nothing else. But looking at AE, is this really true?
Ah, did I get into intellectualization there? I think as I was looking and finding no separate awareness, this idea of ...

What is time?
Looking, there’s no actual experience of time. Once thoughts start back up, some of them imply time (e.g. “I need to get a drink”). So, time is an idea, thought. It’s not real. What these thoughts refer to are changes in color/sensation/smell/taste/sound. But, what is a change in ...

What do you mean by thoughts are aware of thoughts?
Ah, maybe I got into interpretation there. That happens, but usually it’s ignored. What I noticed is that when looking, what ever appears in experience does not appear separately from experience. It’s not a subject-object relationship where ...

Hi Vivien,

Asking ‘when am I?” or ‘Who/what am I?” are not too productive questions, since these questions imply that there is an ‘I’ I just have to figure out who/what/when. So the question itself is ‘faulty’. Looking through the self with these kind of questions can take a lots of time.
Ah ...

Hey Vivien,

Thanks for the suggestions around looking during the day. It’s a little difficult to find a question appropriate for the moment when there’s thinking going on. I was using “when am I” for almost a year, but it doesn’t seem to prompt real looking. Hmm…


A ‘negative’ thought is not ...

By the way, is it okay to just look at actual experience throughout the day to see what's really experienced? Or, does there need to be a question involved for looking to be effective?

Does the pure sensation itself suggest in any way that it’s dull or aching, or sharp, or intense?
No, not at all. It’s just sensation, even contraction is a label about the sensation. Dull/sharp/intense/aching aren’t experienced outside of thought and are interpretations of the actual experience ...

Definitely. The more you look the easier it comes and eventually looking becomes natural. If you want to work through conditionings then looking is the key. Look until there is nothing left to investigate. And this might take several years. Seeing through the self is just a first step, just the ...

Thanks Vivien. So you would recommend doing some looking throughout the day then? I tried that a bit today, sometimes with a question like “is there an I seeing?” or just looking at experience without a question.


Does the pure sensation suggest in any way that this is ‘sad’, ‘happy’, ‘peaceful ...

Hi Vivien,

In 'hearing' can anything be found other than 'what can be heard’?

No, there’s just what can be heard.



Can what is doing the hearing be found? Or is there only 'what can be heard’?

There’s nothing experienced that’s hearing. Usually, I think that my ears hear and that’s ...