5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Please give examples from experience.

It's very difficult to describe these things as I am now. Everything happens on its own, everything falls into place ...

Hey Jon,

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

There's no separate 'self' just the belief in one - there's thoughts that relate to 'me', they do not extend past thought.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate ...

Hey Jon,

Nothing jumps out at me at the moment, I suppose there's smaller doubts but I feel I can quickly resolve them but sitting still and watching life unfold. I don't know what else can be said. What should happen now? What recommendations do you have for me?

Hey Jon,

But what is built on these? Is it 'us' that is 'built' of these, or rather, repeating habits that are based on previous reactions?

People are born predisposed to certain temperaments. Everything is built upon that, those traits are a product of genes from countless people and their ...

Hey Jon,

Free will... after all that I've learnt, It seems logical and real to conclude that my existence is bound to the present moment, everything is in constant flux. But we're a little unique in that we are built upon previous reactions to stimuli, it's not a choice we make. Learn about free ...

Hey Jon,

But could anything that happens right now be happening any differently? Including the illusion that 'I choose this or decide that'?

Do those choices and decisions belong to a partitioned-off entity in a control room somewhere?

There's no separate thing making decisions, they all just ...

Hey Jon,

Let me know how you got on?

Everything happens on its on. I've had similar realisations just walking around doing whatever. Everything just happens without an 'I' to decide - there's an intelligence that knows what to do. Everything that 'I' do happens outside the realm of my ...

Hey Jon,

... I am definitely straining too hard, a thought says that if it doesn't feel like how it felt when I first saw pass 'self' then it is insufficient to see it time and time again. It's funny to see what tricks are being employed to prevent seeing (and how obvious it actually is), every ...

Hey Jon,

The fear/suspense will resume once I start work on this again I'm sure. Next time I'll observe it for what it is rather than trying to make sense of it through more thinking.

It's definitely become harder to watch every instance of 'self' arising. Sometimes throughout the day I'm simply ...

Hey Jon,

Can an exact moment of choosing be found?

I can feel the moment of movement, to the point where it feels like I'm shutting whatever nerve signal priming my muscle to move, right before the movement of my hand. I cannot detect what initiates or precedes this. I cannot feel a moment of ...

Hey Jon,

Do you mean that the understanding / realisation is more like something unchanging?

That's right. What is known cannot be unknown. Unless I get amnesia or something.

I'd also like to explore more about freewill if you don't mind, but I don't know where to start.

Hey Jon,

Or is it rather different? Could there have been a time in which there was a separate self entity? Or is it seen that 'self' has always been the believed idea of one?

There never was a separate self entity, just the belief in it.

Considering no self for a moment, is this some kind of ...

Hey Jon,

Is there mind outside of words that speak of one?

Is there mind independent of thoughts that are imagined to come from 'a mind'?

There's no perceivable mind, just the knowledge of mind. Therefore there is only thought of the mind.

I've found that I've fallen into some of my bad ...

Hey Jon,

It seems whatever peak experience I had has faded. I find that I am still quasi-trapped in 'self', especially when talking to people I don't know (bit of anxiety), not sure if it's habitual-conditioning or that I'm caught in limbo. That's not to say that I'm back to square one - everything ...

Hey Jon,

It would be worth a trip out into nature

I'll do that, I'll report back and make another reply with my findings, along with a proper response to your question. Might take a little longer than usual if you don't mind.

Regards,

Peter