I am pretty sure that you can do both - looking and thinking.
It is part of our equipment. ;-)
You wrote that you have glimpses, right? So you can be sure that you know what looking is. Good?

The whole thing is about relaxing, allowing.
Thoughts are there always, thinking doesn't have to get in the ...

I read everything but I won't always adress everything.

Yes, there are thoughts, they are around the whole time, doing their babbling thing, following their patterns, absolutely repetative.
These thoughts tell how Jani works - intellectually - and that this person Jani doesn't get out of it. Ok ...

Hi Jani,

I am Jadzia and if you like we can walk side by side for a while and see what happens.

Have a look at this:
Does the word I has any meaning other than the one you give it?

No need to answer now. Message me possible times for a zoom. I am in Germany, we should find a possibility.



See ...

I would still point to the body, there is still some slight, but no psychological "I" is found.
What exactly is the identification with? The body?
Is there any label on the body telling "Chrysalis Body"?
What tells about "Chrysalis Body"? And how comes? What is the assumed proof?

There were ...

There is no unit which can claim "I am Chrysalis"
If you look right now, fresh eyes, if you would have to point to Chrysalis, where would you point to?

I don't believe it's an absolute truth that I don't exist. I exist, what I think I am does not exist -- the self-image, the fake/constructed ...

but I still experience myself as a human being of flesh and blood, can I really just be reduced to a mechanical fictional character.
Who or what is experiencing?
Who or what would be reduced?
Is there a unit which can claim "I am Chrysalis?"

Take your time and have a good look.

My major fear ...

Good.

It is only after turning the hand that the thought claims ownership over the action.
Yes often thoughts claim ownership after the action, but what if thoughts are there before or during action claiming ownership?
Play with another set up:
Here's what’s needed - a chair, a table and two ...

Sorry, I missed your post yesterday.

they are let to dissolve as if seen via a kaleidoscope
Interesting. It sure can be helpful in case the story gets overly pulling.

I can also look at the nail biting that happens. I have been doing this since I was a child, then there have been long pauses ...

There is some sort of diffusion which can make it easier to stay with the sensation that is to be looked at (or 'what is looking').
Could you have a closer look into the sort of diffusion?
What exactly is it?

There can be a thought like 'typing will happen', but no thought/decision about when or ...

It is obvious when looking at breathing, functioning of the digestive system, chemical/electrical reactions in the brain etc., all of these happen automatically. I do have difficulty seeing it in other activities, e.g. it seems I exercise certain control during running, speaking, driving, etc.
Yes ...

Noone and nothing.
Sender isn't the agent and experiencer of life, so what is that what tempts?
You can say noone is tempted, that isn't wrong, and yet there is something. You can say no one has a habit, that isn't wrong but still there is a habit. There is something offered by thoughts in a ...

I sent you a pm. Lets have a talk that I can get a better idea where you are right now.

Love,
Jadzia

Take your time. Sometimes other things are priority.
You can come back anytime.

I hope you find your way through the maze of the problem you having right now!

Love,
Jadzia

Indeed, there is no 'I' found anywhere I look. During meditation and generally when I am alone, there is stillness and peace, but as soon as I get back to daily activities, the sense of doership reappears and everything goes back to 'normal'. Language definitely plays a big role in this.
Gating is ...

Hi Mike,

I see that you really won't to gate.

Are you aware that gating won't change anything about fears or other emotions?
What is there is there and has to be dealt with.

So, if you are ready write so and then we have a look together.

Love,
Jadzia