Hey,

I went through the text and 'did the exercise' a few days ago.

Now, somehow I'm having trouble focusing on it. Whenever I want to, it feels really hard to do, and I usually just end up doing something else. I can't really say why. Some kind of fear; Just sitting down with this makes me face ...

Hi,

thanks for your reply. I guess this isn't completely unexpected and makes a lot of sense in retrospect. Your post makes the issue very clear though, which it wasn't before. I will stay with what you gave me so far, and look at uncomfortable thoughts during my day.

I was thinking that it feels ...

Hey,


Good. Fear is a common reaction when this stuff starts sinking in. I had some of it. I can laugh about it now, but it was very real back then. As far as the anger, that can come up too, even though anger and fear are closely intertwined. You have been sold a bill of goods by family, friends ...

Hi,

quick update.

One thing I noticed is that it's somehow hard to keep working with the two exercises, it feels like there is resistance when I want to work with them again. It seems I have been/want to "jump from exercise to exercise" or something.

Also, it feels like the exercise needs quite ...

Hey,

once again sorry for the late reply, I was completely busy from Friday till now.



Try to notice what it is that actually notices thoughts. What is that "still something left" you described.



So, I understood this as bringing the metaphor of the blackboard into reality, that is: Thoughts ...

It ends without there "being an answer", but there also doesn't need to be "an answer" anymore somehow. It makes me feel a little bit.. free? Something like that. I can't really explain it too well.



You've had a little more time to feel this. Try to elaborate.


Hey,

I'm tied up this ...

Hi,

quick question at the beginning: what can I call you in my replies? Just asking because not having a name feels weird, but anything is fine!


I will try to read through your thread to figure out where you are stuck. I did see where your mother passed away recently but your spiritual seeking ...

Thank you! I'm in Germany, so GMT+1 (right now its 15:49 if that helps).

Hi,

yes, I still want to pursue this! Thank you for offering to step in!

Felix

Hey Sarah,


Going back a bit you talked about wanting only good thoughts and no bad thoughts, else you felt you were failing. Is this still that case?


It feels like some part of me really really doesn't want this to be solved, as if there was a problem if this was no longer an issue. That being ...

Hey Sarah,


So watching thought in direct experience is every thought a commentary?


It depends on what is meant by "commentary". For example, a thought "there is a glass of water standing in front of me": Reality is not words, reality is not "there is a glass of water standing there" as letters ...

Hey Sarah,

so, there was some quite big.. realization? while doing the exercise, though I can't really explain it clearly I'll try as best as I can.

Pretty much while doing the exercise my thoughts were something like "I'm not doing this right", "I need to do the exercise more", "I spaced out ...

Hey Sarah,

what I noticed so far when watching my thoughts on explicit occasions today and also when I remembered to in between:

It's still kind of difficult, I can't really say why. Focusing on the exercise and just watching thoughts seems to run into quite some resistance. 'Just' watching ...

Hey Sarah,


Lol. That’s funny. Try smiling or laughing when this is noticed!


Did this a few times, when I remembered! It was actually really funny after a moment - both "sides" are just thoughts.

Can you watch? As if it’s on the tv?

So, when doing this, I noticed that thoughts like "Am I ...

Hey Sarah,

no worries, thank you for letting me know!

Felix