I'm sorry, Jon. I didn't see this last question. I went back into my email search to find our last conversation and saw this.

'When you write in your answer "there is a noticing that something, has to use language" and later on that "energy was noticed to be dissipating"... please say WHAT this is ...

what this "I" is, or who is it that feels the energy dissipating?

Unfortunately I, excuse me there is a noticing that something, has to use language because language was used to ask the question. In this case the pronoun "I" is what the conditioning from years of speaking English has used.

A ...

was there a moment, something I said, or that you saw that you could say 'that was when it became clear'?


No. As I said at the time, I think I was looking for that pink cloud enlightenment that you read about. Instead it became clear, "Dude, give it up. It aint gonna happen. There is no me ...

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

Not sure which time that pushed me over and "look" at what. But if you mean what caused me to originally begin seeking it was the early nineties, I was in my thirties and was looking for what was "wrong" with me. Or if you mean what ...

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No. A separate self was and is an illusion.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you ...

Do you feel ready for the questions? If you have anything you'd still like to investigate or any doubts at all, now would be a good time to mention them.

I am ready for more questions. Thank you, Jon for all the time and consistent effort you have given.

Can you say, with a big 'yes' that there is no self? No separate and unchanging entity? Is this seen without a doubt?
Yes. Or rather than resounding more matter of fact like answering "Do you see that you breathe in oxygen through your nose and mouth.

A by product of this seeing (not sure how it ...

Do you find that the uncomfortable feeling when not finding a line or boundary is lessened at all?

Yes. I am able to relax into the feeling. No line. No problem.

Is it clear that no such line where 'you' end and 'everything else' begins really exists, except as an idea?

Yes.

Wanting to blow off about how much pointless spirituality I know(a huge tendency of mine), I missed this part of your message:

suggets to it that it can now relax, becasue nobody is threatened.

That's good. "Its going to be Ok. You can relax. We got this."

Would you say that there is a kind of anxiety or fear?
Anxiety

The first thing to do is to thank this loyal impulse very sincerely and as deeply as possible for its protection and suggets to it that it can now relax, becasue nobody is threatened.
Thank you for the pointer. Pema Chodron and ...

Mainly this bit is about not finding a line or edge. But there are other little exercises we can try that will reveal the same thing.

I'm not finding a line or edge. I feel like I want to find something. Finding no form is uncomfortable. But there isn't anything to find. I sit with the ...

Mainly this bit is about not finding a line or edge. But there are other little exercises we can try that will reveal the same thing.

I'm not finding a line or edge. I feel like I want to find something. Finding no form is uncomfortable. But there isn't anything to find. I sit with the ...

Did some more brief(3 seconds to 5 minutes) looks. Moments of no boundary and the same feeling as when "I disappeared." And moments of discomfort while "I searched" and the boundary "seemed" to be there. I realize there is nothing wrong with the discomfort. What is noticing the discomfort? It will ...

take a look for a boundary or edge between 'you' and 'everything else'. Is it possible to find such a line, where you end and everything else begins?

Some resistance is felt with this one. Though I know conceptually there is no line, it feels like there is one. I cannot tell where that line is ...

Yesterday, I noticed what was deciding while vacuuming and driving. It was noticed that no one was deciding when it came to decide which chair to pull out and how far to vacuum underneath. An arm pulled out the chair and took it back this far. When driving, what decides to let the guy at the stop ...