Hello Ilona,
Hope I can keep writing to you. Not so sure the shift has happened. Lots of wobbling these last two days. Thoughts from long ago are suddenly coming up. There is seeing how they gave properties to an I.

Noticed that I didn´t explain the illusion of separate self in my last post so ...

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No, there is no separate self and there never was. There is just being.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience ...

A big, fat YES here! I´m ready for the final questions. No more exploration. No more trying to figure out.

Sending love

No more burning questions. Just emptiness.

Having read about emptiness, there is seeing that there were lot of beliefs about this that are no longer.

This is it. No big whatever... Feels so ordinary.

Took some time seeing, but of course there is one presence whether there are people around or not. Presence/awareness just is.

When sitting with eyes closed and calm there is being looking at itself. When active with eyes open (around people) there is also being looking at itself in various forms ...

The obvious answer is that presence is one presence. Of course! How could it be otherwise?

Being honest, i´m not sure :)
Never looked when other people around. Will take that question with me tomorrow when there will be lots of people around.

Thank you for your wonderful help and patience!

This morning it was clear that there is nothing but presence, awareness to find. There is just being looking at itself. No big aha – just knowing.

What is that is looking? Can´t find anything but presence, awareness.

Will keep looking

Today something you wrote earlier suddenly was clear: “there is noticing what is already here, which is being, aware-ing, knowing of what is happening”.

Also seeing that it always was so. Things happen, thought labels, all kinds of emotions come and go – and there is always being, aware-ing and ...

A big lump of fear in the chest. Been sitting with it, asking what is behind it, sadness and tears came, no knowing why, difficulties to breathe.

Often like this, when waking up, feeling almost panic because there is just heaviness and an obligation to lift that and fill the day. How stupid! There ...

Had some difficulties finding peace this morning. Obviously, there are still thoughts and beliefs in the way. Read the chapter “Thinking” in your book and made friends with thinking, peace came back when smoking (!)

Experienced this “thing” or peace many times before, and sometimes for long ...

Read all our correspondence this morning. Noted that there was more clear-seeing in the beginning than these last days. Lots of old thoughts and feelings coming up, no clear-seeing, just confusion… Found some helpful phrases to be here now:
“leaving all hopes and fears and expectations aside you ...

Quite a lot of words today… :)

Looking for hope, but there is no hope, just life.
If the world is a reflection of my mind, this sure is a grey and boring mind!
Seeing how thoughts are boring when they are about a me.

Life is seeing, being, experiencing, accepting, loving, giving, receiving…
Been ...

Today there are thoughts about not liking what is. There are thoughts about being alone triggered by an old friend having met love again at old age (we are 64 years old). This is what is; loneliness, dullness. Everything changes… this is not what is in a moment. Seeing that this is what thoughts do ...

Feels calm.
Is going to see my uncle who is in the hospital with terminal cancer, the sun is shining and that´s all that is for the moment.
Sending love