Hi Alex,

It's been a while since we last corresponded, in which time there were more insights and glimpses into what you were trying to point me to. I'd be happy to continue, whether with you or another guide. In any case, thanks again for your patience and all the time you invested in trying to ...

Hi Alex,

How about we have a bit of a break in our discussion.
No pressure, a break at this point would make sense as it seems that my current state is "pedal to the metal but car is in neutral", more commonly known as treading water...

Enjoy the holidays - by the way, don't want to spoil it for ...

You only look for it because you believe in the idea that you don't see it (or already have it)... just stop looking for something, stop looking for an object and... there it is! Do you see?


I'm going through a pessimistic stage right now so not only don't I see it, but also believe I never ...

How is the flu going? I hope you are feeling better by now.
Better, thanks :-) It wasn't my intention to complain about having the flu though - I've been through worse and many people have been through (and are going through) much worse than the worst I've ever been - it was just a irritating ...

Really? Do you find that thought is required to register sensations? I would agree that it is required to interpret them, but the sensation can exist very well without thought, can't it?

What I meant was that thought is required to register them as "my sensations" and to generate the ...

It's been a while again. I try to contemplate the things you point to every day, no measurable change yet ("measured by who?" you might rightfully ask...). There's a feeling of having maxed out the logical understanding and being stuck there. Perhaps the indoctrination of what is real has been ...

We believe we agree on one thing and reject the other. We believe we have the power of choice... Do you have this power? Can it be found?

That's just it - the feeling of "no choice" also includes no choice but to believe in an illusion of a separate "I" and interpret some experiences as personal ...

At least this is what we believe is happening... but do you really ever truly experience a feeling of being "someone"?
Please sit down and try to find such a sensation. Really feel it. Now please describe what it is like. Where in the body do you feel it? What makes it personal?

Seems a feeling ...

Been a while - working, thinking, thinking about thinking, and trying to accept the loop...


I guess you will say, yes I see they come from thought only, but I am not able to change them. I try, but I cant...
And yes, you are right... "you" can't change them as "you" are only an interpretation ...

When you are aware of a problem or a situation, what happens to it?
When you are aware that you were again caught up in thought, believing the stories, what happens to them?

Experience shows that different things can happen, depending on what the awareness leads to. The term "Ignorance is bliss ...

Sure, take your time, but often these difficult times provide a great opportunity for inquiry... use it if possible :-)

Well, in the same way that I'm not at a level where I can witness intense physical discomfort as "another event happening to no-one", so can emotional discomfort (such as ...

Not much to report yet - seems there's still a latching on to the ups and downs. For some reason, a mood of despair, lack of motivation, cynicism and skepticism took over the past few days, and during it's reign, it was difficult not to see it as something happening "to me". Figured I'd just let it ...

Try to really look at it. What is this "discomfort"? Please describe the direct experience of "discomfort".

Interesting. Repeated exactly the same. Lotus position, no movement, one hour. The reason why I didn't change position was that today the meditation experiment seemed less tormenting than ...

Now try to find this discomfort itself. Look at the sensations and the feeling that triggers these thoughts. Look if the physical sensations are really connected via "discomfort" to these reactive thoughts... Where is this glue that sticks these two sides together?

So I sat down in a classic ...

When you look at the tree over there, or the car or the lamp... is there a consciousness knowing experience?

Isn't the moment it's identified as a "tree" or "car" or "lamp" already too late, as they are concepts too, just like the concept that is believed to be seeing them?


Unfortunately in ...