Thank you! It has been quite a process! Perfect.

I do not doubt at all that the Gateless Gate has been crashed. Doubt feelings do occasionally flow through with thought questions . But when looking again, and again as often as needed the same conclusion, the same experience is reached. Nothing. No one. No person. No control. Layers of stories and ...

There is no doubt here that this is seen. The only doubt that happens is related to what "others" opinions might be. But that is just the old program running lol. From here it is very clear.

This mornings experiencing seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling, thought moving through... This is enough, right now. The feeling is called joy or contentment..or...name it whatever :)
Sun coming up, breeze blowing through pine and aspen, sparrow singing, body breathing.. its whats happening.

"What controls the brain?"

I don't know.. can't find anything or anyone that controls what is called the brain.

"And how do you experience brain in actuality?"

Seeing, hearing, thoughts, blood pulsing through. All behind the eyes and between the ears. If I shake my head it feels like something ...

"1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?"

No. Self is a label, I, me, Joshua, ego are labels names for a constructed story character that doesn't exist as a tangible separate entity in control of a life. There never was.

"2 ...

"comparison only creates distortion and expectations. how can you compare what is happening for you with something that you read about what is happening for someone else? "

Thank you for making that point. I can't compare . I can only relate to some of their content as it applies to the direct ...

Sometimes looking at other threads that are so articulate and detailed.. this comparison thing starts happening, then the thoughts is this good enough? Of course its just more of the same self identity program running, needing to please, or be validated.. No one to be any of that. A lot of the ...

Sometimes writing more isn't easy to conjure. I usually wait til something comes through the head, that seems to be how it happens and if I don't write it down almost immediately it can disappear. Trying to force it, i doesn't seem to work so well.. blocking happens, or whatever it could be called ...

Much better. Thank you. Well, noticing that the programming asserts itself and often acting it out the same, though usually with recognition that no one is here, or at least a reminder when examining I and me thoughts. Still at moments feeling resistance or doubt thoughts that this is indeed the ...

Thank you Ilona. <3

This body is experiencing quite a bit of pain, in this moment. Legs burning, back aching, sore throat, aching face, warm, sweaty, tight achy arms and neck. Popping ears, and a slight fuzziness of thought, which seems to be between the ears just rolling out on this page as typing happens. This pain ...

On those last three words, on one is present, no one exists. There is just being.

From seeing and experience. Rain falls outside the glass behind the computer sitting on the wooden desk. Eyes seeing what can only be observed peripherally beyond the letters of the keyboard.
Typing. The feel of a strap digging into the sternum as the body leans forward. Pauses for breath. Burning ...

The idea to write less was to avoid mental confusion lol... will write more tomorrow. Head is feverish.