Wonderful! I can't thank you enough for guiding me. Much gratitude and wishing you all the best, or at least whatever is next in the flow of life. :-)

Thank you, Petrus. It was a pleasure having you as my guide. I especially enjoyed your humor. Also, your responses were thoughtful and attuned. They have really been a pleasure to receive.

Looking forward to whatever questions or next step arise!

Hi Petrus,

Thank you for your replies about the sadness. They were good to read.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
Sadly, no. There was a strong belief in self, and there was a way of hanging on to thoughts and feelings ...

Hi Petrus,

How exciting. And also sad, too (see below - I wrote the below message right before your last post, wasn't sure if it actually posted, and thought it'd be good to still share).

You say, you can move the body. I like to know how?
Sometimes the body moves on its own with no input from ...

Hi Petrus,
After relaxing and going into a dark room, I had the peace and focus to be with these questions.
Very nice.

Can it be known how tall the body is?
No.

Does the body have a weight or a volume?
No weight.
Regarding volume, there seems to be a center where awareness is more present and ...

Hi Petrus,

Funny, I just replied to your first message and somehow it isn't showing up, so I'll repost below.

If you like I can shoot my second set of questions?
Yes, the second set of questions sounds good. There is excitement not knowing what they might be.

I am highly sensitive too, but the ...

Shoot, I am here and awake for the next 8 hours. Ilona is in England I think and still asleep..
Ha! Excellent.

Maybe you can read about fear here (its on Ilona's website)...

I asked the fear what was behind it, or what it wanted to say. The fear said: "I really love you."

It took a moment but ...

PS - Is there a way to evaluate if you are "easily out of balance"? Anxiety is attaching to that question. "I" don't think I am easily out of balance but anxiety/fear around that is here.

Hi Petrus,
So sorry your original response got lost. How frustrating!

I am passing through the gate in some way.
There is a knowing there is no self.
An observable difference is how effortless tasks are now. Doing happens, just happens, no need for "self." Things that would have been big ...

Hi Petrus,

I apologize if I'm posting "too" much.
But I wanted to tell you:
I am experiencing a lack of self.
My mind (thoughts) have not fully understood it, but they are starting to more and more.
I feel just an experiencing, interspersed with feelings, then a reminding sometimes after thoughts ...

Hi again Petrus,

Two thoughts:

1. When I was in the Sacred Peace experience, there was no Self to be found. There were just thoughts, sensations, attention, love, gratitude, stillness, observing/recording and ... I will admit, a belief that there was an "I". But there was no core Self like I ...

Hi Petrus,

Good, I'm glad my long responses aren't getting in the way too much.

But if you look for yourself: where do thoughts come from?
I don't know where thoughts come from. They appear and I am aware of them. Or there is awareness of them.

The idea of parts generating thoughts was a relief ...

Hi Petrus,

I've been considering these questions all day.

Can an 'I' be found that generates thoughts?
I don't know. Thoughts happen in the brain. Thoughts are brain patterns. I don't think most thoughts are generated by an entity, but I think they are received and listened to by a self entity ...

Hi Petrus,

Many questions! Thank you for these. I'll answer a few tonight and more tomorrow.

I have fears about seeing through the illusion

What are you afraid of exactly?

I am afraid that without the organizing structure of self, "I" will lose all ambition and won't do self-care (like going ...

Hi Petrus,

Thank you very much. Nice to "meet" you.

What are your expectations for seeing through the illusion of the separate self?

I have fears about seeing through the illusion that are expectations of a sort. At some point we should probably go over those because they are holding me back ...