Newcomer ready for gatecrashing

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Rebban
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Re: Newcomer ready for gatecrashing

Postby Rebban » Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:24 am

Cam, there is a lot of doubt kind of concealing the view now. Even though life is still peaceful, thoughts like "shit, I thought I had crashed the gate" and "of course it couldn't be this easy" come in the way. Also I have this exptectation of life being really easygoing and wonderful (like it was this weekend) and when life feels just like before 4th of July there is "disappointment".

I know what i have to do ... look really close at these thoughts of doubt, really LOOK, not in the content of the thoughts but at the thought itself .. is that right? There is confusion here

He he, in this writing moment a notice there is a very, very strong wind today, and I wrote about sensing the wind on my skin the other day. Today its like the wind really wants to slap my face and scream "wake-up" ...

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Rebban
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Re: Newcomer ready for gatecrashing

Postby Rebban » Tue Jul 10, 2012 1:53 pm

Now, a few hours later, with an intense looking at what appears to be happening i do see that the doubts are nothing but neurons at work, creating old familiar thoughtpatterns that are just ... nothing at all! Empty,nada!

Where is the "I" watching the books in the shelf in front of me? But no rebecca is needed to see those books, only life itself unfolding as ... watching books.

How does it feel to see this? I get back to your questions.
Thoughtpatterns of accomplishing clever answers appear, old patterns of a not so very clever rebecca trying to perform as a clever person, scared of being unmasked. That network of neurons at work is very intense right now and i see how the cluster of me-thoughts is working so hard to DELIVER so i have to stop writing and just watch those thoughts for a while ...

... there is also a thought of "me" wanting to have mystical seeing, but there is no mystical seeing of everything as ONE or something. ... so therefore I haven't crashed the gateless gate ... hm, there is watching of that thought as well ...

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Rebban
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Re: Newcomer ready for gatecrashing

Postby Rebban » Tue Jul 10, 2012 2:24 pm

... oh shit, this "me not being good enough" is SO strong and there is a lot of fear, fear of not being good enough. That thought has been a very strong motive power in my hole life, the propelling force ... creates very strong feelings of fear which makes me want to throw up right now. I will stay with this feeling again, see what is behind it.

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Rebban
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Re: Newcomer ready for gatecrashing

Postby Rebban » Tue Jul 10, 2012 2:35 pm

.. intellectually i know i will not find anything behind that feeling, but an empty, meaningless thougth, neurons at work .. but its like i really want to SEEE ...

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Rebban
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Re: Newcomer ready for gatecrashing

Postby Rebban » Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:32 pm

ok back here, thanks for showing up at Facebook Cam. I feel so much love and gratitude for the work you volunteers do!

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Cam-RT
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Re: Newcomer ready for gatecrashing

Postby Cam-RT » Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:45 pm

Hey Rebecca...

So it's that "connection" to these thoughts that we're looking to break by seeing what's behind them...

It''s that proving the truth for yourself is what breaks the connection...Use the body, if things get uncomfortable, trace the feelings back..., Look at the thought, Bring up close, Ask if it's true? ...Push through it....see it for what it is and move on...

Think of the mind like the sky... and thoughts are the clouds, they have no mass, they come and they go...there are big "Ominous" dark clouds and bunches of little ones ( kinda like "chatter.")   You can't reach up and whisk them away...
They just are...so let them be...( like the old Beatles song..."Let it be")

Sometimes when my Thoughts are bugging me I'll get that song stuck in my head, until something else distracts me from all the chatter...


"You" are the sky...Everything else is just the weather...
The illusion isn't destroyed...Just seen for what it 'Is'
Thoughts vs. Reality----->Reality always wins.
"Have courage...Don't give up!!"

http://cam-rt.blogspot.com

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Cam-RT
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Re: Newcomer ready for gatecrashing

Postby Cam-RT » Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:52 pm

One more thing...It's the minds job is to think...( it's a muscle) what we need to differentiate is real life from thought.

The main question to be asking is ....Is this REALLY TRUE in REAL LIFE??

Take Care....
The illusion isn't destroyed...Just seen for what it 'Is'
Thoughts vs. Reality----->Reality always wins.
"Have courage...Don't give up!!"

http://cam-rt.blogspot.com

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Rebban
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Re: Newcomer ready for gatecrashing

Postby Rebban » Tue Jul 10, 2012 8:52 pm

Thank you, thank you Cam. I am the sky, the rest is just the weather. That's great!!

Breaking the connection to the thoughts ... that's the job.

I'll keep up the breaking-of-connection-work. Take care you too, and thanks for all your time and care. Get back to you tomorrow.

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Cam-RT
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Re: Newcomer ready for gatecrashing

Postby Cam-RT » Wed Jul 11, 2012 2:11 am

Beautiful Rebbca...

Keep up the great work!!

Let me know how things are going...
The illusion isn't destroyed...Just seen for what it 'Is'
Thoughts vs. Reality----->Reality always wins.
"Have courage...Don't give up!!"

http://cam-rt.blogspot.com

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Rebban
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Re: Newcomer ready for gatecrashing

Postby Rebban » Wed Jul 11, 2012 8:09 pm

4) How would I describe this to someone?

"Hey buddy, wanna ”unbite the apple” and reclaim paradise? (even though we never, none of us, ever left ;)

To unbite the apple is to get unplugged from the illusion of “you”, which is huge freedom. Life continues just like before, but there is silence but at the same time perception intensifies. Instead of perception through thoughts, there is direct, kind of “raw” experiencing of life.
I have tried many ways to get unplugged, you know, the “usual stuff” - reading one million books, studying the course in miracles, meditation, rebirthing … everything really beautiful and maybe, in a way, all this was necessary to finally make me really burn for freedom – which made me find a guide to help me see the truth. That’s what it is all about. To look for truth. Now. To look for thruth every moment. Scrutinize everything.
Instead of planning and doing life there is letting life unfold. Life invites to a magnificent dance, every moment. Its awesome. The dance of making the laundry, the dance of washing dirty feet, the dance of watching the news on TV. Without resistance to what is. Life itself is a beautiful dancepartner and the only guru you need. And we all know how it is to dance when you just let go of thinking, fear and stiffness and just flows with the music ... "

Warm greetings to you Cam, from Sweden. Hope you'll have a fantastic day. I will get back with question 5 tomorrow. /R

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Rebban
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Re: Newcomer ready for gatecrashing

Postby Rebban » Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:17 pm

Hello Cam!
Just one more thing on nr 4 and illusion:
Life plus you = illusion
Life minus you = truth

:-) so just take out 'you' from the equation and there it is!

Nr 5: what made me really see?
That was when you told me to really examine what or who is in control. It became so obvious in an instant as i was changing clothes. It was totally automatic and for the first time i saw that really clearly. Then there was, and still is, a continuation of observing the fenomenon of life just unfolding without a 'me' doing anything.

Love/rebecca

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Cam-RT
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Re: Newcomer ready for gatecrashing

Postby Cam-RT » Thu Jul 12, 2012 4:53 pm

Beautiful my dear..

So let's have the others take a look, and weigh in on a confirmation for you! You've come a long way, but I think you made It!!!
The illusion isn't destroyed...Just seen for what it 'Is'
Thoughts vs. Reality----->Reality always wins.
"Have courage...Don't give up!!"

http://cam-rt.blogspot.com


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